Boosting Your Confidence: The Impact of Body Language and Wardrobe

Ever felt your self-confidence wane just when you needed it most? Tune into this episode as your host, Lisa Jeffs, uncovers the secrets of self-assuredness, and how physicality plays a vital role. Sprung from a heartfelt conversation with a client who somewhat struggled to visualize her most empowered self, Lisa breaks down tangible methods of tapping into your innate confidence even when it feels elusive. 

Drawing from her personal experiences, Lisa shares her inspiring journey from the adult entertainment industry to excelling in a 'typical' job interview. This episode enlightens us on how simple alterations, whether it's in our body language or wardrobe, can provide a significant boost to our confidence. Lisa emphasizes how we can shift our energy and not wait for competence to fuel our confidence. So buckle up as we embark on this exploration of self-confidence. You'll learn how to harness it to make different decisions, form diverse connections, and ultimately aid you in achieving your goals.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I walked in there in my pinstripe power suit and I knew I had the job before they even offered it to me.

Speaker 2: 0:10

You're tuning into the confident connected leader podcast, your premiere destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Welcome to the confident, connected leader podcast. I'm your host, lisa Jeffs, and today we are talking about Confident. When you are not feeling your most confident self, what can you do to help that? So this was prompted from a conversation I was having with client Last week and she was doing a means visualization and she really wanted to understand when the visualizations I do with clients is helping them to tap into their most confident self. Who is that person? How does she walk, how does she talk, how does she make decisions, how does she Command a room with her energy and presence? And this client was, you know, I don't know. You know, I tried to do this visualization and I couldn't get that Visual in my mind, which is completely understandable if you've never felt that before. So I'm gonna give you two things you can start doing to really understand who is the version of me that is my absolute most confident self, assure self. Who makes powerful decisions to move forward, who is able to command a room with her presence and have individuals stop and want to listen cuz they're like who is this person talking? I need to know what they're saying. You become magnetizing. So what can we do to do this? And this car this was a client was, you know, when one of the things you brought up was that she, she could see it physically but she couldn't really tune into the feeling, the emotion of it, but she could see visually what she was doing. And she was like I know, you know, the physical aspect is not Enough. And I said to her I'm like, no, the physical aspect, when you are not feeling confident and you want to, you know, shift into your most self-assured, confident self. The physical aspects are huge, huge, in fact, is one of the easiest things we can start to shift your energy into the most confidence of sure self that you are. So give you a story. So when I was working prior in the adult entertainment industry If you know my story, I shared bits and pieces in the beginning couple episodes of this podcast so you can go back and listen if you're really interested. I'll be sharing more of it.

Speaker 1: 3:35

But I was working in the adult entertainment industry, you know, not feeling, not, my self-esteem was not at the highest at all. However, I did have a sense of self-confidence. But I was in a place in my life where I'm like you know what? I wanna get a normal quote, unquote what is normal, but I wanna get out of the industry into a more normal job and I'm like but I have no idea what I'm doing here. I have no idea how to show up for this interview. I've never done an interview like this before.

Speaker 1: 4:14

It was at a clothing store at one of the malls that are in the downtown Toronto Well, I don't know how many malls are in downtown Toronto. It was at the mall in downtown Toronto Eaton Center, and I had no idea how to show up, how to talk, how to do these type of interviews. I'd only done interviews with individuals in the adult entertainment world, and that is a very different world. So I thought to myself well, how am I gonna feel the most confident here? Because I don't really feel confident in my competence, but I can feel confident in myself. So there's confidence with your competence, which means that you know for me I've been coaching so long I've been coaching 10 years I'm very competent in my ability to coach. I'm very competent in my ability to hold enrollment calls, which is one of the reasons I'm able to sell confidently or enroll. I prefer the word enroll because it's really just a conversation of enrollment and I can do so very well, I'm very successful at it because I'm competent in it. But if you're not competent in something yet because you don't have the practice, you don't have the skills, it doesn't mean that you are out of luck, it doesn't mean that you have to wait. It doesn't mean that you have to. You know, do all this work to become competent, to be confident. And this is where you know you'll get mixed signals from different teachers, different people out there that say you gotta put in the work first to become confident. No, you got to put in the work to become competent, but you can show up in a way with your self-confident.

Speaker 1: 6:26

So me in this interview, what I did was I got on the best suit that I knew I was going to feel fantastic in. It was a pinstripe suit. I think it was from Club Monaco At that time back in this was in like 1999, I think it was a Club Monaco suit, maybe and I had a red shirt underneath and I slicked my hair back Like in the girls. I think it was Robert I'm going to butcher his name Palmer, I may be saying that wrong in the video and I put on my. It was my power suit. This was my power suit and I felt great in it and I strolled in that interview and I had my clipboard and I had my pen and I strolled in.

Speaker 1: 7:20

I could see instantly, as soon as I walked in and I shook her hand, I could see in my interviewer's eyes that I had it and knew I had the job. And I'm a cocky, arrogant way, but I could feel it because I guess that the people going in, coming in to interview at the mall, weren't dressed like this. And you know, in hindsight, you know maybe I was a little overdressed, but when I did the interview, I did the job interview. I was on my way home and I got a call and I knew it was her and I knew she was going to offer me the job because I could see it on her face the entire time, because of my confident level. I felt fantastic. I had no idea, I had no experience, I didn't even know how it was answering the questions. To be honest, I'm no clue, but I was answering them as my most confident, self-assured self, because I felt the part, because I had worked on my physical aspects.

Speaker 1: 8:32

So and I got off from the job and I took the job, just to not leave any strings on that story, but you know when you are not feeling confident, like my client was saying, and she's like, well, I know, it's just a surface level, it's not that important, like I really know you can utilize if you're not feeling confident. But you know that if you wear something, or if you, when you do your hair a certain way, or when you, you know, put on your jewelry or put on your makeup, or if you don't, you know, put on a suit, you know when you feel you're most confident, self utilize that daily. You know if you are at a place where you need to make some hard decisions in your business or in your work, in your career, and you're like I want to feel I don't feel confident, I feel nervous, I'm scared. Yes, the real deeper work is working on those fears, shifting the beliefs, doing that deeper inner work, yes. However, one of the fastest ways you can start moving in this direction is work on your physical state, work on your physical appearance Right. That doesn't mean you have to go get like a wild makeover either. It's just put on something. You can use the clothes that you already have in your closet that make you feel the best, that make you feel like yes.

Speaker 1: 10:15

When I was mentioning this to my client, she mentioned she's like yes, you know what? Now that you say that? I remember when I got dressed a certain way at work and I was completely different. I was talking to people, I was more social, it was a different, I felt completely different. This is what I want you to understand the power that you have already. Yes, the inner work is important. Yes, all this is important, but you can shift things instantly just by sitting up taller, just by putting your head up taller, like even now. When I'm doing this if you're listening to the audio, I also have my video going and I'm just standing up tall. I look more confident, just sitting up, stretching my neck.

Speaker 1: 11:09

You have the power in yourself to make these simple changes, which will then lead to you showing up differently. And you showing up differently is going to lead to you making different decisions, taking different actions, connecting with people in a different way. This all leads to you reaching the vision that you have. It closes the gap from where you are to where you want to be. Utilize these simple strategies. You are already your most confident, self-assured self. You may not have actualized it yet into the physical realm, but you are already that person and you can tap into that person at any point, at any time, because you're already that person. Visualize, go into a visualization, close your eyes, live deeply for five minutes, ask to be shown your most confident, self-assured self. Don't try to cultivate it, don't try to make it appear. Just allow it to appear. You will get a vision and trust that vision. All right, I'm going to wrap this one up. Thank you so much for still listening. I'm honored to have you here on this podcast. I'm honored to serve. Let's stay connected.