Say goodbye to the guilt and shame that have handcuffed your happiness, and join me as we redefine what it means to lead with vibrancy. We'll navigate through the belief systems that chain us to the grindstone and discover that, sometimes, stepping away to indulge in a little fun is exactly what our business needs to breakthrough. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's a revolution in embracing pleasure as a catalyst for growth, and I'm excited for us to embark on this path of ease, flow, and yes, a touch of magic. Let's commit to tearing down barriers and building a life that's not just efficient but effervescent.Support the show
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Imagine igniting more pleasure and fun into your work week and gaining a massive benefit from this, including more money, better relationships and a more vibrant radiant energy that magnetizes opportunities to you. Stay with us. We're diving in in this episode.Speaker 2:
We're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.Speaker 1:
Welcome to the show. We are now in 2024. This is season two of Confident, connected Leader, where we're going to be diving deeper into what it means to truly be connected to you. And what I mean by connected in this sense is really tapping into your authentic, energetic signature, which is what you bring to the table of your work, your genius and what is going to truly magnetize the right team members, the right clients, the right opportunities across the board. When we are operating from a place of authenticity to who we are and what we are here to experience in the world, magic unfolds. This episode we're going to be talking about beyond achieving and the essential role of pleasure and fun in leadership. I'm going to be speaking directly from a feminine lens because I do believe in the world of business that many women and these are general statements, so these are not applicable for every woman or every man these are applicable for what I've seen in my world and what I've experienced. I know for myself. I've spent many years in a role where achieving a goal was very important. It was my primary focus, whether that was a goal in my own body when I was running marathons or was training hard for weightlifting. Whether it was a goal in school or work-related, business-related, there was always a focus on doing, achieving the mental aspect of it. A lot of time in my brain, a lot of time thinking so much that sometimes it was hard to shut off at night. And this is something I see often with people who come to me seeking help. They are very much in a role of doing. Sometimes they're not achieving what they want to achieve. A lot of times they are achieving what they want to achieve and they want to know why. They have questions on. I mean, I'm doing all these things but I'm not moving the needle, I'm not breaking through that upper limit, and the key here, or the strategy, is not doing more whatsoever. It's really looking at what needs to change within. All right, we need to look at what is going on within us that is preventing us from breaking through the next side. And I want to really dive into the role of pleasure and fun, because it's very overlooked in our society. It's very deprioritized and I'm offering, through this episode, a new perspective that I invite everyone to bring in of pleasure and fun is not a reward for doing work, and this is challenging because this is, especially in North America how we've been raised. When we went to school, when we went to elementary school, what was the reward for sitting and doing work? The reward was recess. So we would enjoy time outside as a reward for doing our work. Sometimes, when we didn't get finished our work, we wouldn't get recess. Do you see where the problem stems from? That? As adults, we often put this goalpost in front of us, and I'm talking in regards to business owners. So business owners or business leader in the corporate realm, where we have certain targets we want to meet and we are working towards these targets, often not realizing that as soon as we get to that target, we rarely take time to enjoy it and then it's off to the next target. So when we see igniting pleasure and fun into our day as a reward for a job well done, we are doing ourselves a grave disservice and a lot of times what happens is we become very numbed out, very unfulfilled, and can really put a damper on our creativity and our innovation. So why is this important? Why do we want to ignite and prioritize pleasure and fun? And those are different, right, pleasure is different than fun, but they are on the same line. So if you're not having a lot of fun in your life, I can pretty much guess you're not having a lot of pleasure, and vice versa. So here's a challenge that I see with a lot of female business leaders and men. If you're listening, I invite you to stay, because this is probably applicable to you. I'm simply speaking through the female lens, because this is what I know is that often we can allow ourselves these rest days right, or we can go to the spa, and there's nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, it's highly encouraged. But I want to look beyond what we can do for ourselves as leaders, beyond the spa day. Often when we do activities like that at least I know for myself it's a form of relaxation, whether I've been working really hard on a project or I'm tired and I just want to go and get away and have a nice relaxing day. And sometimes even that can be challenging if we're very heady and we are thinking, thinking, thinking. Sometimes we're not even present to enjoy that spa day. And again, there's igniting and prioritizing pleasure and fun into your day and really selling yourself on why this is important. It so goes beyond the and I'm using spa day as a general idea Because, as a society, at least specifically in North America, we've given permission to these sort of things. So we've given permission to go have a relaxing day or go have a time where you're unwinding. It's very much seen as we have a permission slip for it. But if we're looking at pleasure or fun, there can be a lot of shame in regards to that. So if you look at someone who's indulging in a pleasurable activity, thinking about how society shames this, so whether that is indulging in, even the word indulging, what does that bring up for you? What do you think? Is that something that you areis in your mind thinking immediately this is not something that's beneficial, or is it, oh, indulging, I'm intrigued, I'm curious about that. Or does your brain immediately go to that something that's bad or wrong? Because if we think about what people indulge in, whether that is in luxury or food or Now time, time off, sex shopping, often we can bring up a lot of ideas that say, okay, this is wrong or bad or it's been shamed, whereas really what's wrong with it? Indulging is quite different than having an addiction to or using it as a means where someone else is getting hurt in the process, because indulging in something does not constitute all those negatives. But when we think about pleasure, often we think about indulging, and when there's so much shame wrapped up in it, then we are not going to prioritize it or where it's going to be hard for us to prioritize it. So let's redefine what this means, because when we prioritize pleasure and fun, it's going to boost your creativity and your innovation. Immerse yourself in activities daily that bring you joy is going to significantly enhance your creativity. Pleasure acts as a catalyst for innovative thinking. Think about how many times you've been trying to figure something out or trying to do something and you're working really hard and you're at your computer or you're doing something and it's just not working. It's just not going, the wheels aren't turning and nothing is coming from it. And you step away and you go do something and suddenly the idea comes or suddenly you have clarity, igniting scheduling. In prioritizing pleasure and fun, you are breaking the monotony of routine and allowing these fresh ideas to surface. This edge is invaluable in your leadership, whether wherever you are working, whatever sphere you are working in, igniting and prioritizing pleasure is going to enhance your resiliency. I want you to think about, in a sense, where. Think about someone or even yourself when you've been overworked. You're overworked, you're burnt out, you're tired. Think about when someone comes and asks you for something. You've already had a hard day, you've been doing all this, you've been doing all that and then someone asks what's your response? Typically, you're going to get a little irritated or you're going to have some response that's not your favorite, desirable response Because you're so overworked. It's like when I see this as a visual, it's like a stick that has no, that's just been in the heat and it's. You know, we snap it and it just snaps. It's fragile, it just breaks. Whereas if you're igniting pleasure into your life, it's like bringing in this flow of energy, this I don't like using the word juicy, but I'm going to use it here this juicy energy into your life, where you're no longer a stick that just breaks easy. Right? You know those sticks I don't know when. You remember being a kid and picking up those fresh branches and they were really hard to break, they were really resilient. You could bend them and twist them and they weren't breaking. This is what happens when you are feeling alive with energy, because you are prioritizing how you feel, things that you love to do, and you become this radiant, vibrant, emotionally resilient business leader. I can't tell you how many benefits that prioritizing fun and joy and pleasure is going to bring you. I can simply Google it and find, I'm sure, many, many researched articles on the topic. Even our logic can say, yeah, it's going to help our health and well-being, and at the core of any leader, the foundation of good leadership, is health and well-being. So there's so many selling points to this. Why don't we prioritize it? Why is it so hard? I know for myself. Part of it is simply just believing we are deserving, and there's a lot of women who have been programmed away from believing that we deserve pleasure in our lives. And let's define what pleasure is for a minute, because a lot of times our brain can go to sex as pleasure and as that it completely is part of it or is part of that realm. Pleasure can simply mean when I think of it, because I'm prioritizing. The reason why I'm doing this podcast is moving into 2024. This has been a big focus for me that I am no longer okay with just climbing ladders as much, as my ambitions are not going to change, they've actually gotten bigger. The way about it I am moving into a place that accepts much more, allowing in as opposed to making things happen, which is fine, and I did it for many years. But moving into my mid to my early mid 40s, I'm no longer available for that. I'm no longer in that space, at least not now. That may change at any point, but now I'm in a space that I'm excited to allow more and when I think about pleasure, what I think about it is really being present, mindful and asking myself daily what it is that I'm needing and desiring in the world of pleasure and fun, and giving that to me myself, without the guilt or without the shame. So what I invite you to do and I'm in a program that starts this week that's going to help to guide me. So this is going to be an ongoing conversation of what I'm noticing by prioritizing pleasure and prioritizing fun. I think the recommended hours to schedule in minimum four recommended six to 10. That's a lot of time and I'm up for it, but I don't. I invite you to start with 20 minutes and if there's any excuses that you are coming up with where you can't put in 20 minutes, I want you to challenge those excuses. Ultimately, I think a good timeframe before is minimum a few hours a week that should be scheduled in for pleasure and fun minimum. So if you have nothing scheduled in right now, I invite you to put in 20 minutes Now by putting that in. If you think to yourself, I have no idea what I would actually do in that time. That's a great place to be. You're in an exploratory time of getting to know yourself better, of inquiring what it is that I enjoy, what it is that is actually going to bring me pleasure. What is that? Maybe it's simply picking up a hobby that you have wanted to do for a long time but you haven't allowed yourself the time to do it. Maybe it is simply connecting deeper with your body, whatever that means. There's many, many, many, many of us who are disconnected from our body. We live in our heads, we are thinking and thinking and overthinking and planning and strategizing, and we're in our heads and when we're relaxing also, we're not really in our body relaxing. So maybe it's simply that. Maybe it's simply connecting more into your body. What it feels like, bringing your attention from your mind into your heart space and asking your heart space what is it that you need? What is it that you're desiring and practicing this week, honoring and committing to that time you putting into your calendar and just taking notice of the excuses that come up or what you're saying to yourself or the resistance that's coming up Again. I'll reiterate shame is a big one for this Right. If you are scheduling it in for seven o'clock on a Monday, let's say, and you have something to hand in or a prior to, or work to get done and it's not done yet. Look and see, pay attention to what you're telling yourself. That are you? Are you easily ready to wipe that 20 minute commitment out of your calendar to get more work done? Do you feel guilty for prioritizing a pleasure and fun when there's still work to be done? Do you feel ashamed, embarrassed? Would you tell someone that this is what you're doing or would you feel really embarrassed about it? These are things you want to look at, because these are the things that are operating behind the scenes and controlling really the level of fulfillment, satisfaction and joy that you are allowing into your life. Even when I'm working with a client who comes to me, who is stuck and stagnant at a certain point in their business, the answer is never doing more. Never doing more of the same things might mean a different strategy. It might mean doing something differently, but it's never simply doing more of what's not always working. And imperative is when we go in and look at the belief systems that are operating and almost, I would argue, every single one I'd have to sit down and really think about. Has there been one that been a client who's been igniting joy and pleasure and fun into a life that has, as I don't think so, not that I can remember. I've been coaching for over 10 years and I don't believe that there has. Often it's this person is overworked, they're burning out, they're very much in their head a lot of the time, disconnected from their body, and they're just looping around the same thing over and over and over again and there are no way, shape or form prioritizing fun or pleasure. It's counterintuitive to. It goes against what our brain, our ego, is telling us right. Our ego says do more, you can't, there's no time for pleasure and fun. That's irresponsible. We have to figure this out. We have to figure this out and a person will just loop the same thought pattern around and around and often the answer is stepping away, going and changing your state, your state of being, your frequency run up. What better way to raise your frequency to indulging in something pleasurable and allowing your next step to come in. Imagine that, that we actually get to indulge in pleasure and get the answers we need. This is what I'm challenging you to do to play with, because easy said than done when, let's say, we have a bill that we need to pay and we're trying to figure out where the money is going to come from, and then you have Lisa over here. Coach, lisa say go do something pleasurable and fun, your mind is going to go to that's insane, that's irresponsible. No way I'm going to sit and figure this out some more. When we do the same things over and over, we get the same results. So if you're in a place where you're ready to really explode not only your business, and explode in a good way and enjoy your life because life is short and we are not here forever and you're ready to experience the magic that life has and the vibrancy and magnetism that you can hold as a leader, which is not only going to help your mission, it's going to help every aspect of your life unfold with so much more ease and flow and magic than this is a non-negotiable. I'm here with you. I'm not speaking on this topic as an expert. I'm speaking on it as a student who is in the process of experiencing this for herself. Let's stay connected.Speaker 2:
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, connected Leader podcast. Lisa Jeffs is committed to helping you break through barriers and climb to new professional heights. Today's episode inspired you. We'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights. Follow us on LinkedIn, instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.