Unlocking the Power of Self-Trust for Inspired Leadership and Fulfillment

In this soul-stirring conversation, I'll take you on a trip to Panama, not for the tropical vistas, but to walk you through the moment I realized that chasing an image at odds with my essence was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. For any leader or entrepreneur out there, this episode is an invitation to rediscover the vibrancy of authenticity and how it magnetically pulls in the right tribe and the joy that aligns with your professional journey.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, guided by a chorus of shoulds? You should be more successful, you should be a certain way, or you should have it all figured out. We call this the path paved by society, paved by society, by external voices that drown out the most important, crucial part of you, which is your soul. Today, we're going to strip back the layers. We're not just talking about surface-level authenticity, but rather we're diving into the essence of our being and giving ourselves permission to live in accordance to our rules, what we are desiring, what we want. Stay tuned, we're going to get deep.

Speaker 2: 1:05

You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 1:29

Hello leaders, we are getting in deep today with being authentically us, giving ourselves permission to be us in all our glory. Because when we can do that, when we stop trying to do stuff or trying to fit in a certain way and we just fully embrace our unapologetic, incredible amazingness, then that is when we are the most magnetic, that is when we're actually having the most fun and we call the right people to us as leaders. Maybe that looks like we are building a team that is so aligned and just excites us. You know, if we're entrepreneurs leading a mission, we pull all the right people towards us, when we are being authentic to our desires, our destiny, who we truly are. So I want to tell you a little a funny story, because this has definitely been a journey of mine, even though, you know, as a young teenager I was very much one to go against the grain and simply do what I saw fit for myself, whether that fit in or didn't fit in. I was, you know. I remember rolling around in my felt coat which had a thick animal print collar on which I put on the coat because it was so dreadfully boring. I just told my mom I can't wear this coat. There's like no pizzazz to it, pizzazz to it. And I remember, you know, I'd wear this coat and I was 15 at the time and people would always assume I was much, much older, because what kind of a 15 year old, you know, in 1995, is rolling around with a felt coat with animal print all over it. But I was being so authentically me at that time and I was very confident At 15, wow, I had come out of my shell and thinking back and it's actually I'm just realizing this now that was a time of great, immense confidence in myself and who I was and when I started my business and really it started taking off. So not even at the beginning, because at the beginning I was following more of my heart, playing around, doing what felt interesting. It was a. It was when I started to get more success and more notoriety and more just my face out there, more more articles and stuff popping up, that I started to do more of what I thought I should be doing. Or, if this is starting to resonate, when you get to a certain point in your journey and you're like, oh, maybe I should be more like these people who are already five steps ahead, maybe I should be doing more of what they're doing. Let me see what they're doing. You know, for me it was. You know for me it was.

Speaker 1: 5:09

I was in a place where I was telling myself, oh, I should be more adventurous, right? This was kind of at that point where people were posting more on Instagram and they were posting their adventures and all this stuff and it's like, oh, maybe I should be more adventurous and do more stuff. And you know, people may there may be friends of mine saying, well, you are adventurous, lisa, because there are certain things that I am quite more out there than, I would say, the norm. But I'm not. I would not say I'm an adventurous person. You're not going to find me, you know, hiking a mountain or something an adventurous person. You're not going to find me, you know, hiking a mountain or something.

Speaker 1: 5:50

But there was a point where I was like, okay, I'm going to step out of my comfort zone, I'm going to do these adventurous things. And you know, we planned a trip and I'm like, oh, we're going to Panama and usually I would just enjoy, you know, my time at the resort and kick back and lay back. But I'm like, no, we're going to be adventurous, we're going to go through the rainforest and we're going to go on this excursion and I'm telling myself like these are all the things I should be doing. Right, I should be. You know, I'm looking at certain people that I was like, oh, they seem to have it all together and they're doing all these adventurous things. I was like, oh, they seem to have it all together and they're doing all these adventurous things. And so we book our trip, our excursion through the rainforest. And you know, I remember asking the people because I was with my mom. My mom at the time was probably in her late 60s, not a very active. Well, I shouldn't say that I don't want to throw her on the bus because she's 79 right now and actually she's pretty in good shape, but at the time she had asthma and it wasn't exactly a trip that you would bring someone that may need some assistance. So I asked them and they were like no, no, it's no problem, it's for beginners. Okay, let me tell you something. I've been on a few of these. I have a few stories like this and anytime they say it's for beginners, you need to go deeper and start really questioning it.

Speaker 1: 7:18

So we go on this trip and we're about midway through and I start questioning this entire decision. I mean, I'm carrying my daughter in my arms because she was, I don't know about five or six, my mom's like over there trying to catch her breath. I'm wondering can I get out of this? Can we turn back? Which no, we couldn't, because we were in the middle of the rainforest. And all of a sudden, we come to this creek and I'm looking down at my shoes and this was my fault, because I didn't even think of this, because, once again, I'm not an adventurous person. So I'm wearing my brand new white pumas and we need to go trupsing through this body of water. So I'm stepping in this water and, as the water is squishing through my toes and my shoes and I'm just you know cursing the inside, I'm realizing that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't something I needed to do. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't actually listening to my soul, to my true desires, even to my intuition, when I book this trip. Maybe, just maybe, I was listening to the part of my mind telling me what I should be doing, because it seems like it makes sense or it seems like the good idea. So we're on this trip and we get to a, a village, and the hosts there were just fantastic and I'm glad, you know, we got to experience because there was some nice moments in this village area for my mom. She enjoyed it.

Speaker 1: 9:15

Now, my experience, this, this, this child, this poor child which was forced to dance with me, will stay in my memory until the end of time. So there was a, a moment where, you know, we, you know they put on some music and it was time to dance and I am holding my daughter because my daughter was, you know, very, didn't want to be put down at those times, she was not very comfortable in places she wasn't familiar with. So I'm holding my daughter and they're like come dance, come dance. I'm like, no, no, I'm okay, I'm okay. You know those moments and you know, at some point I realized, okay, they're not going to take no for an answer.

Speaker 1: 10:02

And this young man who was probably about I don't know anywhere from like 8 to 12, just looked like he wanted to be anywhere but dancing with me and I can't blame him at all. It was such a oh I don't even know what the word is cringey moment. Not because of him, there's nothing, he was lovely, absolutely lovely, but because I know, if I had flipped positions I would absolutely be cringing, having to dance with the woman and her child. And it just clued in at that moment that it's okay to just do what you think is right. It's okay if you want to go on a vacation and just stay at the resort and have some pina coladas and dip your toes in the pool and look out over the ocean, literally for seven, eight, nine, ten days, and not go on any excursions or do anything, even if there's a multitude of people telling you that you should. It's good for you, it's exciting, right and funny enough, I didn't learn my lesson after that vacation because there was another experience a few years later. I'll tell that story at another time. It's equally as I don't know what the word is, can I say cringy again.

Speaker 1: 11:43

But after that, after the second time, it was a huge realization that you know what. I'm going to start listening to me. Now I'm going to start listening to what I need. You know, I'm a very type A person and I've had a history of doing a lot of things where I push myself. I've really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I've done a lot of things. So I have that experience. I have that experience. So I'm not saying don't do adventurous things, don't push yourself out of your comfort zone, don't do things. What I'm saying is make sure that what you're doing is aligned to what you truly want to do. There is many things that I want to continue to challenge myself with and to get out of my comfort zone, but they don't need to be what everyone else is doing, need to be what everyone else is doing. They only need to be what I want to do, what I'm enjoying doing.

Speaker 1: 12:46

You know I have a journal coming out in the next few days, at the longest by next week. We're doing some. There's some formatting and some review. That needs to happen. And this journal got completed so quickly because I fully tapped in, listened to myself, listened to what I already knew was going to be helpful for people, what I wanted to create, what I knew I would want to pick up and use, and because I didn't look at what else was out there. I didn't research, didn't want to know. I fully allowed this creation to come through me. It was able to be completed so quickly and it's just a phenomenal journal. It's literally going to change lives. It's a self-love journal for women who give a lot. It's coming out soon. Send me a DM if you'd like to be first to know when it's out.

Speaker 1: 13:50

But this is the power of tapping in and truly listening to you what you need, what you want, what you desire, what your soul is calling you towards. I had a client call today and we were having a discussion and this comes up a lot, you know, because a lot of the people that I attract are, you know, may feel like the odd one out, even though you may look and be like, oh, this person doesn't feel like that, they're not the odd, they don't seem like the odd one out, even though you may look and be like, oh, this person doesn't feel like that, they're not the odd, they don't seem like the odd one out. But internally they may feel like the odd one out and sometimes they have unique desires, they have unique things that they like, but they don't always feel comfortable sharing because it isn't according to the norm. It isn't according to the norm. There's a lot of people that maybe view it as being different or odd or not very cool or kind of this or kind of that.

Speaker 1: 14:50

Here's the thing You're always going to get judged by someone. Someone's always going to judge you for something. Whether you're following in line with what everyone else is doing or you're totally going against the grain, you're going to be judged. So you might as well do what you want to do, because, at the end of the day, our time here on this planet is limited. Even though you know we can have a conversation about time and how it's, you know, is time actually real and all that stuff. But on earth we have a limited amount of time in this body as a human being. Spending it doing things that are true to you are going to make your time here so much more fulfilling, so much more connected, and you're truly, truly going to be your most confident, magnetizing self. When people are unapologetic in what they're doing, in who they are, they become magnetic. It doesn't matter what you say or you do or what your choice is. People want to be around that because you are a mirror for them. You are a mirror giving them permission to be their most confident self.

Speaker 1: 16:19

So if you're someone, if you're a leader who works with clients, the best thing you can start doing is tuning out the noise. Forget what everyone else is doing, you know. Forget what the top people are telling you to do and what works and what sells, you know. Take information like that with a grain of salt. Take what resonates, leave the rest, but always listen to your internal guidance first. Always listen to your internal guide and not the brain or the you know, the part of you that's telling you this makes sense or this is what I should be doing, because that's what I did.

Speaker 1: 17:01

That's what my story was for to showcase you that that's a very two-dimensional way of looking at things and you don't always know how the pieces are going to be fit in together. So following that 2D information source doesn't get you very far. Tapping in and learning how to listen to your intuition, to trust what's coming through and taking actions forward, you start to see how the pieces start fitting in and how everything starts to fall into place, and you start being in a place of wonder and delight, as you are surprised by all these magnificent synchronicities, because the best thing you want to have happen is to be in a place of flow where it doesn't feel like you need to effort anymore, that the challenges are just simply enjoyable milestones. I'm not saying that you're not going to have fears and you won't need to tap into some courage and there won't be things to process, but it no longer becomes this hard efforting, you know, struggle of getting things done, your creations accomplished. Okay, so I'm going to wrap it up here.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Let me know if this resonates, send me a DM. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear if you want more topics on this here. If you want more topics on this, entrust yourself. You have the answers. You have all that you require within you. Sometimes it takes becoming still to listen. Sometimes we need to do some work around self-love, which is the cornerstone of starting to trust and feel worthy that your desires and wants are completely valid, even if you're in a world of very type A. Even if you're in a world of very type A, driven leaders who are all talking about this and that and this and you wanna go a whole different way, acknowledging that you get to do that. That's part of your birthright. It's very much allowed and supported. I'm gonna wrap this up. I appreciate you If you're still listening. Thank you, I'm honored to have you on this. I hope this was a value and, as always, let's stay connected.

Speaker 2: 20:10

Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast. Lisa Jeffs is committed to helping you break through barriers and climb to new professional heights. If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights, follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.