Mastering The Confidence Game: The Secret Trio for Lifelong Success

Within this session, you'll hear the striking story of Alex, a motivational speaker whose onstage prowess masks a torrent of insecurities, a reflection of the complex dance between confidence and self-esteem. We'll dissect the critical differences between these two aspects and reveal strategies to bolster your resilience against life's inevitable setbacks. For any leader seeking to ascend to new heights professionally and personally, this episode offers not just insights, but actionable steps to solidify a foundation of confidence that withstands the tremors of challenge and change. Join me, and let's embark on this journey toward a more empowered and confident you.

Chapters

• 0:00 Tempo: 120.0

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're tuning into the confident connected leader podcast, your premiere destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self doubt. Sabotage and burn out. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Hello, my leaders. Today we're talking about cultivating unshakeable confidence in your business, in your career and in your life. Welcome, my name is Lisa Jeffs and I've been coach for over a decade. A lot of individuals have come to me to help them with their confidence levels, whether that is confidence in taking a risk, making a big decision, taking a leap in their career, taking a leap in their business. A lot of times An individual will come, will come to me thinking that they need confidence.

Speaker 2: 1:08

My framework to creating unshakable confidence encompasses three Very important elements. I call it the elite Trinity, because when you have this elite Trinity In your tool belt and you operate from a place of this unshakable confidence, you become magnetizing magnetizing to Opportunities, to people, to money, and you feel really, really good about yourself. So the elite Trinity to creating unshakable confidence competence, self esteem and resilience so, so important. I want to show you the different of, because a lot of people can have confidence, especially a lot of highly driven, capable leaders. They can operate from a place of competence. They've been doing the work a long time. They know their stuff inside and out. What they're really lacking in is self esteem. They show up confident. Others believe that they are confident, but behind closed doors they're doubting themselves, they're questioning if they're doing enough. They are enough, and often when we have challenges with our self esteem, our resilience can sometimes take a hit. So what this can look like is, let's say that they're in a meeting and someone questions their ideas or their point of view. Or they're in a meeting and they flat out get put down. Especially if we are highly sensitive, that can really throw a person out. They can throw a person out for days, weeks, months, and to create an unstoppable confidence within, we want to get to a place where you are resilient to those moments, so you are able to pick yourself up, process what happened. You're emotionally resilient. You can feel the feels. It's not about bypassing the emotions or what you're feeling, but it's about learning how to move the emotion and get back on track with what you are doing, to be able to separate yourself from the criticism or what didn't go right, the failures, and get right back on your vision, knowing and trusting that you are good enough, that, no matter what happens, nothing is a indication that you are somehow not enough, and you get right back on Moving forward.

Speaker 2: 4:20

Okay, so let me give you a story I want to tell you a little bit of a story of someone with low self-esteem and high confidence, so you have a better understanding of how this shows up. So I want you to imagine this character. Let's call them Alex. So Alex is a charismatic and popular motivational speaker. Alex has a knack for holding an audience, is attention and persuading them. With his words.

Speaker 2: 4:53

He exudes a level of confidence on stage that many would envy. He navigates questions and delivers inspiring speeches with apparent ease. However, when he steps off the stage, alex often battles with feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. Despite the success he experiences, he struggles to see his own worth beyond the stage persona. He constantly compares himself to others and believes he is never good enough. This reflects his low self-esteem. No matter how successful he becomes, he struggles to shake off these feelings of inadequacy.

Speaker 2: 5:41

So do you see how this is a example of someone who's confident? They can show up on stage very competent. People look at them like they are, are having all together, but behind closed doors. That's when the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity come over. So this is a high percentage of the leaders that I work with. They've gotten to a place in their careers or in their business because they are very competent. What's holding them back now is the fact that they feel inadequate, or they feel insecure to the point where they are holding themselves back right. This can lead to a lot of sabotage.

Speaker 2: 6:27

So now I'm going to read you a story of someone with high self-esteem and Low confidence. Okay, we're gonna talk about Aaron right now. So Aaron is a brilliant and well respected physicist. She deeply values herself and her abilities. This reflects her high self-esteem. Aaron understands her worth and feels content with who she is. This sense of self-worth doesn't waver in the face of criticism, indicating her strong self-esteem. However, when asked to deliver a public lecture on a recent findings, aaron hesitates. The thought of speaking in front of a large audience makes her nervous, even though she knows her subject matter better than anyone. She fears she might stumble over her words or forget important points mid-speech. Despite her high self-esteem, aaron's confidence in her speaking skills is low. Do you see the difference there? So for Erin, she has a fabulous self-image, she knows she's the, but she's not competent. She doesn't feel competent in her skills in certain areas. Okay. So in both of these stories, erin and Alex show that self-esteem and confidence, well interconnected, can vary independently In a lot of cases the leaders have come to me and I'm sharing this because if you can really grasp this, you understand what you need.

Speaker 2: 8:09

So I'll give you an example. So let's say that there's someone who is having a challenge with communication. They don't feel confident with communication, so they go to a training for communication, but when we peel back the curtains, so to speak, we see it's. Yes, they may have lack of competence in their speaking abilities, but really what the issue is is they don't feel worthy of sharing their opinions. They have a very low self-worth and we'll go into, you know, we can talk about why that is in another one. But if that individual only goes to skill building workshop and teachers, they're gonna have a very long road to get to where they want to get, because they're not actually dealing with what is inside, and a lot of times this has to do with traumas and experiences from long, long time ago. Right, that told me.

Speaker 2: 9:19

I've told this person that they are, they're not worth listening to or they have some kind of inadequacy. So now they have a distorted self-image of themselves. So when we are cultivating unshakable confidence, we are looking at again the competence. So this is the skills. Right, this is the skills. How do you do something? How good are you? Do you have the tools in your tool belt, the self-esteem, which is huge. This is a big one for a lot of people really working on that self-worth, that self-image, creating this solid, grounded belief, intrinsic self-worth, that you are here for a reason, that you are here to share a message that you are deserving of everything you're asking for.

Speaker 2: 10:18

And then the last part of the trinity is the resilience, because we have to have to have to be able to pick ourselves up and move forward, to really be in this place of. I am unshakable, I am confident. And let me tell you, when you get into that place, you become a magnet. People wanna be around you. You have this energy about you. You know when you are around people as a leader, whether you're in your career or in your business, you are magnetizing. This is the elite trinity. Let me know if you resonate with this.

Speaker 2: 11:06

I'm gonna continue talking about this topic, really diving in to what it means. What are the practical steps of cultivating this unshakable confidence? The most important thing to know right now is that you can. A lot of this is learn skill. A lot of this is healing. A lot of this is understanding, tuning in, connecting to yourself, going deeper, getting out of the head right, not being so heady, getting into the body, getting into the heart, really feeling the uncomfortable emotion. And we can't create unshakable confidence until we are really, really honest with ourselves. So I'm going to wrap it up right now. But when you create this elite trinity, when you embody it, you move through life so much differently lighter more magnetic.

Speaker 2: 12:16

This is the goal, so stick around, give me some feedback. I'd love to hear your feedback. If you have any questions, please don't be scared to ask them. It gives me great ideas With every question. It gives me great ideas for new content that's really going to give you the value that you are looking for. That's it. I appreciate you, I honor you and let's stay connected.

Speaker 1: 12:46

Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast. Lisa Jeffs is committed to helping you break through barriers and climb to new professional heights. If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights, follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.