From Invisible to Unforgettable: Unleash Your Charisma, Command the Room, and Leave a Legacy

Unlock the Charisma Code: From Good Leader to Irresistible Force

In this eye-opening episode of the Confident, Connected Leader Podcast, we crack the code of charismatic leadership. Discover how to:

• Master the magic formula of warmth and competence
• Transform from only being respected to becoming a magnetic leader people can't wait to follow
• Harness the hidden power moves of history's most influential figures
• Avoid the charisma-killing mistakes even seasoned leaders make

Plus, we'll reveal the surprising truth about coaching styles that create loyal teams vs. those that silently push top talent away.

Ready to supercharge your leadership presence? Tune in and learn how to weaponize your charisma for unparalleled influence and lasting impact!

Chapters

• 0:00 Tempo: 120.0

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

If you've ever thought to yourself that you'd love to have an audience that is engaged with you, or a team that is loyal and just loves coming into work, or if you have a platform and you're like platform and you're like I want more people here, that would feel really, really good. More charisma may just be your answer. We're going to dive in in this episode, helping you to be your most charismatic leader ever.

Speaker 2: 0:46

Stay tuned, charismatic leader ever. Stay tuned. You're tuning into the Confident, connected Leader Podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Welcome to the show. Today is going to be a really interesting topic. We're going to be talking about charisma how to be more charismatic as a leader to be able to increase your influence and impact and also, quite frankly, your bottom line. Listen, real charisma. When someone embodies real charisma, people want to be around this person. And I'm not talking about the common word. I think what is it, riz, that's going on? When I've seen people talking about this riz, like on tv or whatnot, and they're demonstrating it, it's cut. It's coming across more like sleazy car salesmen. Real charisma is genuine, it's heart-centered and it's also incredibly confident. And where does confidence come from? Competence. So research and I believe it's research from Princeton has showcased that a charismatic person is one that embodies the perfect mix of warmth and competence. So what does this look like? This looks like a person who is warm and friendly. They know that if they hire this person or they work with this person, that they are going to get a great job or they are going to have a great experience. So today I want to talk specifically to the person, the leader, the entrepreneur, the business owner that typically leans towards the competence. So this is a high percentage of the people that I work with. So leaders who are very skilled, very knowledgeable, they know what they're doing. People trust them. The problem that can happen often is they come across a little unfriendly, a little cold, or they come across a little awkward and they don't make connections or they don't feel comfortable making connections as much as, let's say, someone that leans more towards the warmth and we can do a separate episode on someone that leans more towards the warmth because ideally, we don't want to be leaning towards either.

Speaker 1: 4:21

When we're talking about being charismatic, we want to have an amazing combination of both. Okay, because we want to be approachable, we want people to want to be around us, and we also want to be highly skilled and be able to showcase that so people can trust us. So if you look at a couple of celebrities that have really mastered the art of charisma and I can think of one right now Elvis Presley, who has been off the earth for quite a long time decades is still loved right, he is one of the celebrities that have been gone so long. But if you look at the stardom that Elvis still has to this day, it's because he showcased this level of charisma. He made people feel valued. He made people feel warm and he also showcased his skills, his ability to perform. He was an excellent performer. So this is what we want to go to. So let's say that you are a leader and you know you're skilled, you know you have all the competencies that you could possibly have. We want to bring in some warmth to that.

Speaker 1: 6:00

Coaches right now and these are both excellent coaches and the one I'm thinking of that leans more towards the competency. He's probably one of the most brilliant minds that I know. He is excellent. I have taken some of his programs and they are so comprehensive. They are more comprehensive than a lot of the work I took in university.

Speaker 1: 6:26

And I'm thinking of another coach here who's a woman not that it really matters, because we can be warm as a man, competent as a woman and lean towards these, so it doesn't matter. I'm just giving you an example. She is very competent as well, is more of a type A. You can see that she has the skills and the knowledge. She demonstrates it. However, she is very warm. And I look at I was researching both of their YouTubes. The competence is great. However, in his YouTube, he demonstrates the competence quite a bit, which is good. There's nothing wrong with that. But because he doesn't bring in a lot of warmth, he doesn't get a lot of engagement. In fact, he almost gets no engagement. He has a respectable amount of subscribers not huge, but pretty good, but very low engagement and not the highest amount of views either.

Speaker 1: 7:36

Now in this woman's coaches YouTube, she has a huge amount of subscribers which she has gained in a pretty short amount of time, in a couple years, and she has a massive amount of engagement. I mean, people are literally writing almost love notes on her page of how much they are so thankful that her work has helped them, and you can see in their content she has a really great mix of warmth which shows up, such as her giving compliments to her audience. She smiles a lot, she talks directly to the person and really showcases how she wants to help that person, and she also when I've seen when she's done lives she makes a point of saying a person's name, and this is a really great way to be. More charismatic is by saying a person's name. So let's say that you're online and someone makes a comment. You're not just reading their comment, but you're saying oh, jane, I see that you have said da, da da. Jane, that's a really great question.

Speaker 1: 9:12

I'm going to go into some ways that we can bring into some more warm, some specific action steps you can take, but leaning toward. If we go back to his YouTube again, he's brilliant, he is freaking brilliant. I love watching his videos, but one thing he doesn't do is he doesn't compliment anyone. In fact, he leans more towards pointing out what you could be doing wrong and what you should be doing better, out what you could be doing wrong and what you should be doing better. Now, because I can read this person's energy, I know this coach well. I know that he's actually quite heart-centered and he really loves people. He loves people and he wants the best. This is why he shows up and creates such comprehensive programs. He loves people. He wants them to do so so well. However and I can relate to this because I am also quite I can lean towards that competency right.

Speaker 1: 10:25

So if I'm not careful, the way that I can come across sometimes is more on the competent end, less on the warmth end, unless I'm being really intentional about that, and what can happen is you can come across as intimidating. So when you are intimidating, people trust you that you're gonna do a really good job. They trust that you're really powerful and you're competent as a leader, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, but you don't seem as approachable and the problem with this is people may be scared to ask you questions. They may be scared to engage with you, and that's a problem. When you want to lead a movement or you want to be more influential, okay, you don't want to be a leader. That's not approachable, right, and this isn't about morphing your personality into something that you are not. Right. This is not becoming something you aren't, but these things are malleable within our personality.

Speaker 1: 11:43

Right, me intentionally bringing in more warmth so the people I'm working with feel more comfortable and they feel more at ease approaching me with questions, because a lot of people are scared that they may think that their question is silly or stupid or they should just know better. This is very typical with type A's. I don't want anyone to feel like that. I want people to feel comfortable asking questions. I don't want them to be intimidated.

Speaker 1: 12:16

So me intentionally bringing in more warmth is not me not being true to myself, right, it's me being intentionally more warm to improve my level of communication and my level of leadership, okay. So if you're someone, you're thinking well, but that's just the way I am. That's just the way I am. Well, we create ourselves right. We are our. We create ourselves right. We create who we are, and much of who we are in our personality has been created over the years, so we can create anything we want now. So let's talk about ways that you can be more warm with your team, with your audience, with the people you wanna impact, so they can feel more comfortable in your presence, because if they're more comfortable in your presence, they're gonna wanna be around you.

Speaker 1: 13:21

So if you're making sales people wanna be around someone they feel comfortable with. They're gonna feel good giving you money, making sales. If you are teaching or leading or you're leading your team right, they're gonna be more loyal to the team, to the work, because they feel valued, they feel appreciated. This is all part of bringing in more warmth. Okay, and again, we don't want all warmth. I'm not gonna go too much into detail with this, I'll do another episode but if we have too too much warmth, then people will question our competency and they may lose respect in what we're doing, even though they really like us as a person. So we wanna have a good mix of both. So if you lean towards more of the competency, here's a couple of things you can do to try and see how they feel. One way to bring in more warmth, like I already said, is by saying people's names. I know it sounds really simple, but saying someone's name. So if you're at a networking event and you're chatting with a group, right, like for me, I really have to be intentional with this, because I used to have so much anxiety meeting new people that I'd just be worried about having my turn to say my name, that when they said their name, it would completely go out of my head. I wouldn't remember it at all and by the time we were saying goodbye to each other, I would have no idea what their name was. And it's really powerful in a networking event or somewhere where you're meeting people that you really want to build a connection with. It's a really powerful way to exit that conversation by saying Jane, it was so good talking to you. Now I would love to stay in contact. Do you have a social media platform that you utilize often? Can I have it Right, and we say their name? That's a lot more impactful, warm, charismatic, than saying, hey, it was great talking to you. Can I find you on social media? Sorry, what was your name? Again, right, not that that's inherently terrible, but it's definitely not as charismatic as the other. And again, if you really wanna be set apart from the majority and I will tell you, I have gone to a lot of entrepreneur events I've gone to a lot of entrepreneur events with a lot of successful entrepreneurs and, from my experience, most of these entrepreneurs lean towards the competency. They don't typically lean towards the warmth. If I go to an event with a lot of intuitives, healers, psychics in that department, a lot of times they'll lean more in towards the warmth. But when I go to strictly entrepreneurs, it's more in the competency and you kind of leave and you kind of leave feeling a little bit. There's a lacking from a lot of ones I've gone to.

Speaker 1: 16:49

So if you can show up in a really charismatic way, make a point to remember their name. So if they're saying their name, one thing that I do that's helpful for me is I will see it in my mind, I will make a point of repeating their name in my mind and I'm a very visual person, so I will see that name, I will see it written out in my mind. And if you can make an association, so if this person's name sounds like someone else's name that you know, make an association in your mind. If you have to write it down, or right away after you meet this person, you can say something like I'm really being intentional about making connections with people and right off the bat I can tell that you're someone I want to have a connection with, a continued connection with. Is it okay if I find you on social media right now? Or if I write down your name, can you spell it for me and then they spell it and that can help you remember their name.

Speaker 1: 18:02

The next one is I'm only going to give you three because I don't want to overwhelm you. This one's going to seem really simple, but let me tell you a lot of people can utilize this one Smile, smile more. Smile more in your videos, smile more in your pictures, smile when you meet someone. And a real smile, a smile where your eyes smile as well. And if you're not great at that, that's okay. This is a skill and it's a skill you can practice.

Speaker 1: 18:43

Practice in the mirror. I remember going through a period of time where I don't know what was going on within me internally, but I suddenly felt really awkward going to places, even like the bank or anywhere, and making eye contact with people and smiling, Like it felt really weird. I was going through a really weird stage and it just made me feel really awkward, really weird. I was going through a really weird stage and it just made me feel really awkward. But this is a skill you can practice regardless. If you're like, oh, I don't know how I look when I smile, or I don't like my teeth, because I've seen people who have insecurities with their teeth and because of that they don't smile, and I get that. I had braces at one point. I didn't wanna smile, but it makes a big difference. So practice, do what works for you and practice giving a genuine smile. And if you have trouble with this, thinking about something while you're looking in the mirror and practicing, think about something that you genuinely love, whether that's puppies, animals, babies, a person, something funny. And I want you to start giving that smile out to people, even if it's just when you go to the grocery store. Smile if you have an online presence. Start to smile.

Speaker 1: 20:06

We don't always have to look cool, calm and collected. That's going to bring in a feeling of you are approachable, approachable. We want this. We want the approachable feeling. I know there's a belief that we have to be. You know, if we want to be respected or we want to be looked at like a leader who knows what they're doing, we have to have some kind of coldness or we can't be approachable. No, no. If you go and research the most effective leaders in time, so if you go and look at, let's say, even the most effective presidents, these have a fantastic combination of competence and warmth. We wanna be approachable, okay.

Speaker 1: 20:56

Last one, give out more compliments than you do critiques. Again, I see this with a lot of competent leaders and I'm guilty of this too of when we are creating content that we know is fantastic. You know we're giving a lot of value and we genuinely want to help people. So we want to help people. It's not that we are trying to pick and nitpick at things. We genuinely want to help people, but we will look at the things that they can improve and we'll say you can improve this or this is what I noticed and it's not working. Do this instead. So when someone hears that often not every person, right, not every person Sometimes a person can take that feedback, especially a type, a type person, and just run with it. But a lot of people will hear that and they'll just hear the critique and we always want to make.

Speaker 1: 22:02

When we think about being really charismatic and a person who we want to be around, that we want to. When we're around this person, we just want to be a better person. We just want to be better, like that's what the power of charisma does. We wanna be a better person after meeting this person because that person has made us feel important and valued. So if we go in with our competence and we are critiquing, even with a good intention, it's gonna lower that person's energy. That frequency right it can drop. It can make you feel a little bit deflated, even from a tiny bit to it a lot, and we don't want that.

Speaker 1: 22:50

So be intentional about, especially if you're let's say you're giving feedback one-on-one to a person. Give them three compliments to one critique. If you are online, start sharing how much you appreciate your audience and then you know, do it in numbers of three and then move into any kind of critiques or feedback. So what this can look like is I'm using Jane. Again, jane, thank you for coming in here. I wanted to tell you that I've been noticing you coming in early a few days a week and I really appreciate that.

Speaker 1: 23:42

Your work with Jonathan on that project was great. You know he gave me a lot of great feedback as well and said you were really helpful and on this project I noticed that you did this and I'm highly impressed Now with this part of the project. These are some things I think that we can work to improve and close the gap on a little bit. I'd like to share that with you right now the gap on a little bit. I'd like to share that with you right now. So that gives a big and that wasn't even the greatest, but you get the idea. You're giving three compliments, three things you like, three things you value, three things you appreciate. And if I was really trying to be more charismatic, I would do it with more of a smile, I would work on my tone, but even still, the way I did it, even not working really on my tone, it's still a better feel than if you're giving feedback and someone comes in and you go directly into thanks for meeting with me today.

Speaker 1: 24:53

I wanted to talk to you about Project X. This is something we really need to work on. It's not that great and you know we're going to have to fix it. You know, does this make sense? Tone matters. How you leave a person feeling after matters. It's not about, let's say, sugarcoating something and listen, there's a time and place where you may not want to use this, okay, but for a lot of situations it's going to be beneficial.

Speaker 1: 25:34

So you want, as a charismatic leader, for people to want to do better, naturally not because they're scared of you or because there's some kind of trauma bond where they just want to impress you, but because they genuinely feel good in your presence. And when someone feels good in your presence, even if it's on YouTube, even if they're just watching your YouTube video, but they feel valued, they feel appreciated, they feel like their subscription matters or what they've purchased from you matters. Let's say you're a real estate agent and your clients feel valued and appreciated, not just like they're just a number or they're just a sale for you. This is what makes a person want to do better or a person want to do business with you again because you make them feel good. This is the whole purpose of being a charismatic leader. You ignite change. You ignite change. You ignite influence. You ignite impact on a grand scale.

Speaker 1: 27:06

It's not that you can't do that leaning more towards just competence but it's a whole different ballgame when you bring in warmth with your competence and practice it. It's a skill right. I still practice it because I know I can lean towards more of the competence and, depending on who I'm talking to, they can take that as a critique or they can be taken aback, because I can be very direct and I can be very to the point. And those people who know me if you you know, you can feel I love people and I want people to do the best. I see people's, the power in people and I can see their highest outcome and any kind of feedback I'm giving is for them to reach that. But I gotta be careful, because I can be more direct and I can be more leading towards the competency. It can close you off from others, right, it can make a person not want to come to you for support and for help and ultimately that's going to hinder the growth of whatever you're trying to grow.

Speaker 1: 28:22

Okay, I hope this was helpful. Let me know if you have questions on this. Again, if you go on, if you are listening to this and you have access to the actual podcast website so not just if you're on a podcast directory, but if you go on my podcast website. So not just if you're on a podcast directory, but if you go on my podcast website and you can find this in my Instagram bio, you can actually send me a text message and I would love to hear if you found something valuable or if you have a question, because if you have a specific question and it's one that I think will be relevant for everyone or for others, I'm gonna answer it on a podcast episode, so please send me your feedback and I'll be doing another one on if we're leaning towards more of the warmth. How can we showcase more of our competence again to be more charismatic, to really showcase our charisma? Okay, I hope this was valuable. I honor you. I appreciate you, thank you for listening and, as always, let's stay connected.

Speaker 2: 29:35

Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast. Lisa Jeffs is committed to helping you break through barriers and climb to new professional heights. If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights, follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.