Charisma Unleashed: Cultivate Warmth and Competence to Stand Out Without Shouting

Ever wondered how to make a lasting impression without being the loudest voice in the room? Tune in to this episode of the Confident, Connected Leader Podcast with me, Lisa Jeffs, as I unpack the secrets to mastering charisma through the perfect blend of warmth and competence. Learn actionable strategies to fine-tune your communication style. Plus, get introduced to "The Power Play," our new program designed to help business leaders and entrepreneurs enhance their charisma and people skills, making them the standout leaders in their industries. This episode emphasizes the growing importance of people skills in today’s AI-driven workplace and provides insights into elevating your professional presence by balancing warmth with competence.

Chapters

• 0:00 Tempo: 120.0

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader Podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 0:31

Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. This is a continuation of the last episode we did on how to be your most charismatic self, how to add in more warmth if you tend to be someone who shows a lot of competence and confidence. So, as a reminder, how we become, how we showcase our most charismatic self is with the perfect mix of warmth and competence. I am just getting over a cold right now, so my voice may be a little graspy. Just an FYI I'm also sitting outside. It's a beautiful day and you may hear the buzzing of I think that is a I'm not even sure what that is, but there's a lot of buzzing going on out here. Anyways, back to the content. So we want to be our most charismatic self.

Speaker 2: 1:28

This episode is for people who tend to showcase a lot of warmth. They're more on the warm side, less on the competence. They're showing less competence. So this may look like you're the type of person who, if you're sending a text message or you're sending an email, you put tons and tons of emojis in it. By the way, I love emojis. Nothing wrong with that. But there is a science when it comes to showcasing more competence. This can look like you showering on words of affirmation, or saying things like words of affirmation, or saying things like hello, beautiful soul, my most amazing person in the whole wide world, like things like that, which are great. But we need to mix it with the competence, because if we're only showing warmth, right, warmth can also look like, let's say, you're a person in an office and you're always the one who says yes, who's willing to go the extra mile to do things for other people. Again, nothing wrong with any of this. This is actually great.

Speaker 2: 2:36

But if we don't combine it with competence, signs of confidence, people will tend to overlook you. You may not get chosen for certain opportunities. If you're in business, if you're in sales, a lot of times people are going to question hey, I really like this person. This person is a great kind, I love being around them, but I don't know if they can actually do the job. I don't know if I can trust them. Is any of this based in reality? No, you can be a very warm person and, of course, be competent and be able to do the job Fantastic.

Speaker 2: 3:23

But this isn't about can you do it. This is about how you're perceived. People make snap judgments within the first few seconds of meeting you, people make certain judgments right off the bat and if you come on with so much warmth but lack showing signs of competence, people are going to question if you're the person for the job. And we don't want that because, from my experience, people who are warm, who lean more on the warm side, are extremely competent. But we want to make sure it's a good combination of both. Just as a reminder, if we lean too much on the competent side, this is when people will excuse me as I cough. People will trust that you are able to do the job and you're probably one of the best people to do the job, but you don't come across as approachable. And when you don't come across as approachable, that can create its whole heap of other problems.

Speaker 2: 4:32

So if you want to listen to that episode, if you feel like, yeah, you know what I don't really have a problem with showcase incompetence, actually need to showcase more warmth. That is in the last episode that aired. So how do we show more competence, more confidence, if you tend to lean more on the warm side? Well, going back to the first example I gave, if you're someone who sends text messages or emails, so let's say you're sending an email after you know someone had a sales call with you or you applied for an opportunity or whatnot. When you are sending back a reply message, are a few emojis okay? Yes, a few emojis are okay. That's going to showcase a little bit of warmth. Are you going to plaster emojis all over your email with a thousand exclamation marks? Not, if you want to appear charismatic, which again is a combination of warmth and competence. You really got to watch that and it's funny because when I first learned this even though I tend to lean more on the competence side and I got to bring in more warmth when I'm speaking directly with a person my emails were a lot of emojis and exclamation points. I had to tone it down a little bit. Again, this is just snap judgments. This doesn't mean anything about you as a person or as your personality. These are just evidence-based practices that people use to make snap judgments.

Speaker 2: 6:19

So if you want to put yourself ahead of the game and showcase yourself in a way where you become irresistible to people, people want you to hire you for their opportunities. They want to hire you for business. They want to be around you. You want to set the bar really high. You want to be the person people think about right away, then we we gotta work on showcasing us as being very charismatic, bringing some of that confidence with your warmth. So another way to do this is just simply getting really, really good at your craft.

Speaker 2: 7:01

So when you can master your craft, whatever that is, whatever you are doing, if you are a coach, mastering your zone of genius, if you're in real estate, just becoming literally the best real estate agent on the block, so to speak on the block, so to speak, mastering your craft and being able to showcase that to people highly, highly increases your competence. If you can demonstrate what you do and talk about it in a way that's clear and concise, huge, huge competence marker. This is one of the reasons why, when I do sales calls or whatnot, I have such a high enrollment rate because people feel the competence in me, because I'm able to clearly and concisely showcase that I know how to help a person get from A to Z. So mastering your craft, getting really, really good at it, so spending time on it, spending money on it, investing in it, believing in yourself, working on it daily, weekly, and if you have challenges with verbalizing what you do, practice, that's it. Practice, record yourself, literally get a microphone and record yourself talking about what you do.

Speaker 2: 8:31

Go back over the recording and see where you are putting filler words. Remove the filler words where you are losing track. Going back, and how can you make this as clear and concise as possible? That's going to immediately bring the energy that you are very competent and people are going to trust you. It shows a huge level of trust. That's a great way to also just practice your communication skills is going over, recording yourself and seeing where are you putting so many filler words.

Speaker 2: 9:08

I did this years ago and I was in shock. I was shocked and a little horrified at the amount of filler words I was using. But just having that awareness, if you use something called Descript, that can be really powerful. I think you can even sign up for free, although the paid version, I think, is able to mark all the filler words, but you'll see which ones you use. I use. You know a lot. That's like probably the last. I just said like, but I don't say like often I say you know, so when I'm recording something and I'll go back, I'll see. Oh okay, I said this over and over and over again.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Your filler words will also decrease your competence. Again doesn't mean you're not competent, but we got to watch how we are talking. This is one of the most powerful ways to increase your competence is to look at how you're communicating on a daily basis, removing the filler words, using your confident. Almost it's like you're speaking from your diaphragm. I believe this is what it's called. We don't want to be talking from our throat. So if you go back and let's say you watched my videos from years and years ago like probably eight, seven, eight years ago my voice is very different. One of the reasons was because I just wasn't in my element yet. I hadn't found my zone. So I would talk more in my throat. It would be a little bit lighter, it would be a little bit more, not necessarily soft, but you could tell that there wasn't as much depth to my voice.

Speaker 2: 10:56

Power is important. You want more power behind your words. Increase the volume. So if you're speaking really quietly and really soft like this, people are going to immediately have a preconceived notion about you. And again, there's nothing wrong with that, right, there's nothing wrong with appearing warm. But if you want to appear more competent, make sure your voice is representing that. So another way to show more confidence is through your body language. This is huge. Make sure that you are sitting up tall. Make sure you are standing tall. Your posture is as straight as it can be right.

Speaker 2: 11:53

I remember a video call I did and I remember being I wasn't feeling confident, competent. This was a video call for me. I was learning a new skill. This person, I had hired this person to teach me something. So I wasn't feeling competent in this area and when I went back to look at the video, I was shocked to see how my posture was. I was all almost crumpled up and this was a sign of how I was feeling inside, a little bit insecure. So, standing up on Zoom or whatnot, okay, make eye contact.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Again, when people aren't feeling confident, they're going to avoid eye contact. They're not going to make eye contact as much. I remember a person who did a lot of Facebook Lives or Facebook trainings or whatnot, and she was very competent, extremely competent, but she wasn't able to showcase that well on video and one of the things was she would never make eye contact. She was always kind of looking around or her eyes were shifting around. Now this can be because of anxieties, nervousness. Being on video like this is all real. I've been there. It's not a huge deal. We don't want to stop ourselves from doing videos if we're feeling nervous or insecure. We want to do it because that's one of the ways to get more competent. But having the awareness that if you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling nervous doing it, and you have certain things that you do to self-soothe practicing, practicing making eye contact, practicing holding your gaze, looking into the camera, even if it's just for a few seconds, if you're fidgety, practice hold something in your hand so you're not fidgeting around right Again, nothing wrong with any of these things, but we want to make sure we're making the best first impression. I'm going to end it with one last thing. Now.

Speaker 2: 14:24

This can be challenging, especially for purpose-driven entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders, people with a mission heart-centered, intuitive, perhaps even introverted is showcasing how freaking amazing you are. This was one for me. I got to get better at doing For my clients. All my clients are fucking amazing, Absolutely amazing, absolutely incredible People. I work with people. I have calls, calls with people that are in this community. If you're listening to this, I would bet 99.99% you're freaking amazing at what you do. You're incredible.

Speaker 2: 15:05

However, we can have trouble verbalizing that this is a problem, a big problem that happens in the corporate world, where often the person who's getting noticed, the person whose ideas are getting noticed, the person who are getting the opportunities, aren't necessarily the most competent. They are the people that are the loudest, they are the people that are showcasing that they are great. Nobody is going to know how good we are unless one they work with us or two we're able to showcase it. And if we're not able to showcase it, then chances are people aren't going to work with us. And you also know, internally you are just incredible. You know you have the abilities to change people's lives, to do your work in the world in a big way, but you're not getting the opportunities, you're not getting noticed, you're not becoming, you know, the obvious choice for people. Chances are you're not showcasing enough of how good you are practicing.

Speaker 2: 16:28

Talking about what you do in a way that is clear, concise and powerful, about the results that you get for people, that you get for businesses, etc. Is going to really change the game for you, especially if you lean more to the warm side, practicing, doing it in a way that feels authentic to you so you don't have to be the loudest one in the room. It could be, let's say, if you're an online entrepreneur, simply sharing more testimonials, allowing other people to do the talking for you, having your clients do video testimonials sharing how amazing you are. So you don't have to verbally share how amazing you are, even though it's impactful that you do. And this is so, so needed because there's a lot of people that, let's say, aren't operating in integrity, that aren't you know.

Speaker 2: 17:36

I'm thinking of one person who would sing to the rooftops about how incredible and amazing his services were and how he's just the best of the best. And I remember this person totally just took a lot of people's money who had pre-booked, pre-boughten his course, and then he never delivered, he never showed up, he never actually gave anyone the course. He totally just kind of vanished. So and this is not the only, I'm thinking more so in the world of coaching and online entrepreneurship. I'm sure other industries are a little bit different, but a lot of times, people who are just unabashful about their amazingness sometimes don't deliver or they act out of integrity.

Speaker 2: 18:35

So the fact that you are someone of high integrity, you know what you're doing, you're good at what you're doing, you act in the good of the people. It's a shame and I'm including myself in this too as well that we are not more vocal about how incredible we are and how much we can help people, because it really is going to make you, coupled with that warmth, become so charismatic that you just become irresistible, because people want to be around that. People want to be around people. People want to be around people who make them feel good and also people who they trust to help them, to support them, and that's all it is. That's all it is. It's bringing in warmth, caring, genuine love and affection and showcasing that you are great at what you do and you can do it and you're trustworthy and you act in integrity, and when you can combine those two, it's golden. Okay, I hope this was helpful. Shoot me a questions if you got questions. I love talking about this because I know how impactful it is when you can really showcase this. It opens so, so many doors.

Speaker 2: 19:55

This is what I used to do when I went to interviews. I would and I didn't even realize what I was doing back then, but this is what I would do. I would combine the warmth with the confidence and the competence, and these are the times where I would ask you know how long until you make a decision or whatnot, or whatever I asked I can't remember, and people would tell me oh, it's gonna be a couple of weeks, we'll reach out, blah, blah, blah. And on multiple occasions I would leave the job and I would know that I did really, really well. I could feel it in my bones and I would get a call before I even reached home of them offering me the position because of how I presented myself in the interview. So this stuff is powerful.

Speaker 2: 20:48

Okay, one thing I'm going to add. If you haven't seen it yet, if you haven't seen me talking about the Power Play, this is a program that you are going to want, especially if you're still listening to this episode you're going to want to take notice of, and if you're interested in being one of the first in the Power Play in the beta round, please do not hesitate to reach out and let's have a conversation. The power play is for business leaders, professionals, entrepreneurs who are ready to take their work, to take their brand, to take what they're doing in the world to the next level, to start showing up in a more powerful, charismatic way, so they become the obvious choice in their industry. We are doing the work around helping you become that charismatic leader. These are evidence-based practices that you're going to be learning and putting into practice on a weekly basis, and we're also going to be doing the deeper, very necessary work to help you internally become that charismatic leader. So this is the deeper healing work that I do with my private clients that makes literally life-changing results happen, combined with the skills of how to show up externally, and you are literally going to be the power piece in your industry.

Speaker 2: 22:34

I can't wait for this program. It's going to be absolutely life-changing, business-changing, especially as we move into 2025, where people's skills are going to be even more important. I posted a statistic the other day on my LinkedIn. I believe it's 85% of success comes from people skills, all of what people skills entail, and only 15 comes from the actual technical skills. As we move forward, as AI is taking over a lot of different things in our life, people skills are even more like 10,000 times more important to learn how to connect with people, how to appear more charismatic. So people want to be around you, they want to hire you, they want to be in your presence, they want to work with you, they want you in leadership roles.

Speaker 2: 23:38

This is not something that you can sit back on and hope goes away. It's not, and we can become our most charismatic, best selves, even though we're whole. We're already whole, but we can showcase it in the world in a really fun and exciting way, and that is what the power play is going to be. So if you're interested in becoming a member of the beta round, please send me an email at info at lisajeffscom, or you can shoot me a message on my Instagram, lisa underscore jeffs, or on my LinkedIn, which I'm becoming very active on. So, if you're on LinkedIn, please add me as a connection. I would love to connect on there. I'm pretty much on there Mondays through Fridays. I'm going to wrap it up as always. I appreciate you, I honor you, I love you. I'm so glad that you're here.

Speaker 1: 24:50

And let's stay connected. We'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights. Follow us on LinkedIn, instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.