The Secret to Being Taken Seriously (Without Trying So Hard)

Have you ever wondered why some people naturally command respect while others struggle to be taken seriously? The secret lies not in demanding respect from others, but in how deeply you respect yourself.

Respect isn't something we can force others to give us—it's a reflection of our internal relationship with ourselves. When we don't feel our time, ideas, or very existence is being honored, the first place to look isn't outward at others' behavior, but inward at our own patterns and beliefs.

This episode dives deep into the transformative power of self-respect and boundary-setting. I guide you through a powerful self-inquiry process, starting with the fundamental question: "Do you truly feel deserving of respect?" For many high-achieving, heart-centered leaders, the intellectual answer is "of course," but the emotional truth may reveal healing work that needs attention.

We explore how our patterns of overextending ourselves, saying yes when we want to say no, and neglecting our own needs train others in how to treat us. The respect we seek begins with honoring our own boundaries, valuing our own time, nourishing our bodies, and expressing our authentic thoughts. When we embody self-respect in these tangible ways, the world naturally reflects that respect back to us.

This conversation is especially relevant for empathic, highly sensitive professionals who excel at pouring into others while struggling to direct that same care inward. If you're ready to transform how others treat you by first transforming how you treat yourself, this episode offers practical insights to begin that journey today. Remember, everything external is a mirror—change begins within.

Want personalized support in becoming the magnetic leader you're meant to be? Apply for the Magnetic Leader Accelerator program through the link in the description to see if you qualify for this transformative experience.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro: The Magnetic Leader
• 1:52 Gaining Respect in Your Life
• 3:22 Do You Feel Deserving of Respect?
• 5:57 Honoring Your Boundaries
• 8:21 Respecting Yourself First
• 12:57 Magnetic Leader Accelerator Program

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

uh. Tap into your inner power. You got this. Now go get it living up to your full potential. Your energy is magnetic. Big dreams, believe in it. Wisdom we seeking it, everything that you're looking for, brought to you by lisa jeffs, the magnetic leader. It's time to soar. Tap into your power of an entrepreneur. Level up. Step it up because Find your purpose. Time to be a magnetic leader. Welcome to the show leaders.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Today we're going to talk about how you can gain more respect in your life. This is for the leaders, the entrepreneurs, the business owners, the professionals or the artists that feel like, hmm, you know what? I don't feel like I'm really being respected. I'm starting to notice that the world is reflecting back to me experiences where I don't feel that my time is respected, I don't feel that my ideas are respected, I don't feel that my in some cases, my existence is respected. Maybe this is happening at work, maybe this is happening at home. So the first thing we have to do and the first thing I always do when a client comes to me and they say Lisa, you know, these are some changes that I want to experience is we first start looking at well, what's going on inside of us, what's going on in here, because everything that happens in here is reflected back. Everything is a mirror. This is how we get to really understand what is the work that we have to do, because we don't gain more respect from demanding it from people or ordering other people to respect us. That's a surefire way to not be respected. We start to gain more respect from the people around us when first we start embodying that respect.

Speaker 1: 2:22

So first thing that we want to look at is one do I feel deserving of respect? Do I feel deserving that I should be respected? And this is a very internal story. So what you can do right now is you can ask yourself that question and just feel into your body. What does it feel that first, that first intuitive nudge that comes through is either going to be a yes or it's going to be a no, and that simply is an indication of some of the work that may need to get done. So if you do hear a no, one don't judge it. It's not about judging or about getting critical. It's just information that allows us to see okay, there's some healing that needs to be done in that area, and that is some deeper work that you can do on your own or with a professional to start getting to the bottom of why do I feel that I shouldn't be respected?

Speaker 1: 3:34

A lot of times it's a pattern you learned, it's a pattern you picked up and it's a pattern that can be broken. It's a pattern that can be shifted. It's not who you are at your core. So that is always the first question Do you believe that you deserve to be respected? The second, lot of the times that they want to say no, that they're overextending themselves to the point of exhaustion Sometimes this happens in work environments where you feel that you can't say no and a lot of times when we feel like we're not being respected, it's not that the person is not respecting you or that they're being malicious. It's that you've simply trained them in this dynamic.

Speaker 1: 4:40

And now that you're at a point where you're starting to feel resentment or anger, right, we can start projecting it onto the person that the person is doing something wrong or the person is taking advantage of us, when really they've just fallen into a pattern that we have created. Right now we're talking about what you can do to shift the narrative, and that second step is to ask yourself well, where am I not honoring myself. So where am I not honoring my own boundaries? Are there places where I'm saying yes, where I really want to say no? And how can I start? Right, it doesn't matter if you have to even start at that super, super baby step here of where can I start to honor myself and start saying no, and you may need to get some help with this. You may need to get some support. What can come up a lot when we start honoring our boundaries is the whole nervous system right. It starts firing up because we've built a pattern where it doesn't feel safe for us to say no. So you may find that you want to work with someone as you start to set these new boundaries.

Speaker 1: 6:07

But as you start to set new boundaries, you start teaching people how to honor your boundaries. Teaching people how to honor your boundaries. By you first honoring your boundaries, you are teaching people how they can honor your boundaries and how they can also set boundaries for themselves. Boundaries are a win-win Learning how to set boundaries. That's been a lifelong journey for myself as well, and it's a process, especially when you consider yourself to be more empathic or more highly sensitive, where we are often the givers right. It's very easy for us to give, give, give, give, give, but then, when it's time for us to give to ourselves, we can have challenges.

Speaker 1: 6:57

So number three is looking at the other patterns that you have. So how are you honoring and respecting yourself? This looks at what are the foods that you're eating daily. Are you eating foods that fuel your body, that nourish your body? Are you eating foods where you know that they're not nourishing your body? But maybe you have patterns where you're self-soothing, you're numbing out with food. Right, you're self soothing, you're numbing out with food.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Again, no judgment. Release any judgment. These are just patterns for us to bring awareness to, for us to see them and say, hey, okay, I'm seeing these patterns. These patterns are in place for a reason. We don't have patterns just willy nilly or randomly. We cultivate patterns, we gain patterns, whether we are protecting ourselves, whether we are using them to feel safe. So, releasing judgment and just seeing it for what it is, it's just a pattern and if it no longer serves you, then it's a pattern we need to change.

Speaker 1: 8:11

So how are you treating yourself? Are you respecting yourself when you go out? Are you giving yourself enough time? Are you always rushing? Do you allow yourself on everyone else, but not on you. Do you value your own ideas? When someone is talking and you don't agree with what they are saying, do you use your voice? Do you share your opinion? So these are all ways that we demonstrate that we are respecting ourselves. So when we are not feeling respected at work or at home, we always want to hold the mirror up and take a look and again first asking ourselves the question am I deserving of respect? Of course you are, but do you feel that you are? If it's a no, then that's your first work, that's the first work to do.

Speaker 1: 9:31

And then it is asking the question how are you respecting yourself? How is that showing up in your day to day? And if you start to see the gaps, if you start to say, oh, you know what, I'm not really respecting myself. I'm not giving myself what I'm asking other people to give me. So I need to start giving myself what I'm asking other people to give me. So I need to start giving myself what I'm asking other people to give me. And I know that that, as a reflection, I'm going to be reflected back. That respect. It all starts here. You have to respect yourself to expect to get respect and, of course, you need to be respecting other people.

Speaker 1: 10:21

But in the context of what we are talking about right now, it's really important to look inward, because the clientele that I work with, the people that come to me, they don't have any problem respecting other people. They are respecting other people. That is the type of people they are. They're not disrespecting people, but they can often be in patterns where they are not fully respecting themselves. Because one of the most common patterns I see with even the leaders that I work with that are at the top, they're the CEOs or the top top performers, they're the top professionals. A lot of them are very heart-centered, a lot of them are highly sensitive, a lot of them are more introverted and they can have patterns that they pour into everyone else giving, giving, giving but then, when it comes to them, there's a gap.

Speaker 1: 11:30

So I hope this was helpful. It's always a reflection. If you take nothing else from this podcast, everything is a reflection. So if you want to change anything externally, we got to start internally first. Leader, I appreciate you, I love you, as always. Thank you for joining me. If you have questions, please drop them below. If you would like to speak to me about the Magnetic Leader Accelerator, which is my signature program to help you get aligned, to amplify your vision and to accelerate your results by holding you accountable for the highest leverage tasks. Please head on over to the description and apply for a conversation to see if you qualify and if it makes sense with your goals. As always, I love you, I appreciate you and let's stay connected.