The Art of Telling Your Inner Critic to Shut Up (Nicely)

Have you ever noticed that the moment you're about to take a big leap—whether launching something new, making an important investment, or stepping onto a stage—your inner critic suddenly becomes deafeningly loud? That voice questioning your abilities, bringing up every possible worst-case scenario, and making you wonder if you should retreat to safety instead.

This critical inner dialogue is particularly potent for ambitious, driven individuals. The bigger your goals, the louder this protective mechanism becomes. What's fascinating is that this voice isn't actually trying to sabotage you—it's attempting to keep you safe within what I call your "safety line," that comfortable zone where you've been operating.

Breaking beyond this safety line requires completely different thinking and a transformed self-image. But here's the key insight that changed everything for me: when that inner critic roars to life, it's not revealing truth—it's simply doing its job. During a seminar where I could feel the room's energy wasn't connecting with my material, my inner critic unleashed a torrent of judgment. I had a choice: get entangled in that narrative or step back with curiosity and compassion.

Through my work with top leaders and creatives over nearly twelve years, I've discovered that self-compassion is the antidote to the inner critic. The more judgment we direct at ourselves, the louder that critical voice becomes. Conversely, when we witness it without judgment and reconnect with our authentic power state, we reclaim our ability to create rather than simply react.

Remember that intuition and fear are different languages—intuition doesn't typically present as fear but as clear guidance. This is why having a supportive community or coach is invaluable when pursuing ambitious goals; they help you navigate these inner dialogues and distinguish between protective fear and intuitive nudges.

Want to learn more about mastering your inner critic and stepping into your authentic leadership power? Apply for the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator through the link in the description. Together, we can ensure that voice no longer calls the shots in your life and leadership.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Magnetic Leadership
• 1:50 Understanding the Inner Critic's Role
• 3:56 Breaking Beyond Your Safety Line
• 7:10 Personal Story: Facing Fierce Self-Criticism
• 11:07 Self-Compassion vs Judgment
• 14:17 Discerning Fear from Intuition
• 15:34 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:20

Music an entrepreneur. Level up. Step it up because I believe, find your purpose. Time to be a magnetic leader. Welcome to the show leaders. Picture this You're right at a moment. You're about to launch the thing or you're about to take action on what you've been dreaming about, thinking about. You're about to do your first talk or you're about to make a really big investment that you know is going to support you and your vision and all of a sudden, this voice comes in and starts chirping every doubt under the sun, all the fears and what ifs, starts telling you who do you think you are to do something like this? This is going to go really bad.

Speaker 1: 1:20

This was a conversation we just had in the Magnetic Leader Accelerator. Some of the members are right at that really important step of launching. Creating is always exciting when we are in that creative part, when we are in the visioning part, it can get really exciting. We're leaning into possibilities, we're leaning into the expansion, but then, as soon as it's time to take the action or to do the thing, everything starts to shift and this voice within comes and starts to yammer. And if we allow this voice to come in and call the shots a lot of times we won't do the thing, and I have seen this many times in the almost 12 years I've been working with professionals, top leaders, creatives, and these are very driven, ambitious people. So in this episode, we're going to talk about some ways for you to understand the inner critic. See it for what it is, but not allow it to call the shots, because if we are always listening to a voice that is trying to protect us, we cannot expect.

Speaker 1: 2:55

Imagine having a parent that was so scared of everything for you, of everything for you, and it was constantly talking over your shoulder about oh you better be worried about this. I don't think you can do that. Oh, you better be thinking smaller. Let's look over here, maybe start small here. And it was trying to protect you, but what it was really doing was suffocating. And imagine this parent in your 30s, in your 40s, in your 50s, in your 60s, and they're still speaking over you.

Speaker 1: 3:39

This is what happens so often to individuals that are very ambitious and they have these big goals and they have these big dreams, but they don't realize that with that comes an even louder inner critic, because, again, it's job is to keep you safe. What I always talk about in my work is a safety line. Right, we have a safety line, so our safety line is over here. You may jump up a little bit or you may go down a little bit, but you're just hovering in the same area. And to break beyond this we need to be thinking different thoughts, having different beliefs about ourselves, about the world, having a different self-image, seeing ourselves within the world as a completely different identity. So if you aren't aware that your inner critic is going to get louder right before it's time to make a big jump, you may listen to the inner critic and listen to the fears as true. This happens often when I speak to people who are interested in coaching.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Coaching is an investment. It's an investment in your time, it's an investment in money, it's an investment in effort and energy, and a lot of people get excited in the first part, but then, when it comes to making that commitment in the first part, but then, when it comes to making that commitment, I don't know. They contract and they listen to the voice as truth. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if this happens? It's not true. You are creating the truth here. It's only true if you give it your focus.

Speaker 1: 5:46

Now I'm not saying don't listen to the voice of critical assessment. Sure, you don't need to just willy-nilly fly by the seat of your pants. You can absolutely have discernment. In fact you should be thinking critically about certain things, making intentional decisions. But that's very different than the voice of the inner critic that is trying to protect you and keep you small. So there was a time where I heard my inner critic come on, write Gangbusters, and I have the tools to work with the inner critic and to understand that when that voice comes on very strong, to really step back and see it for what it is a voice, it's not the authentic power that I am. We are so much more powerful than we often admit in our day-to-day lives. We are wildly powerful beings and the inner critic only has its power from what we give it, from our focus, from our attention, from listening to it. So in this moment when I heard my inner critic come on and it was fierce, it just wanted to rip me a new.

Speaker 1: 7:26

One was in a seminar I was teaching and the seminar wasn't the best fit, meaning what I was teaching wasn't the best fit for the people there. Nothing wrong with the people that were there, nothing wrong with what I was teaching wasn't the best fit for the people there. Nothing wrong with the people that were there, nothing wrong with what I was teaching. It was simply the fit that wasn't the greatest. And my inner critic came on very strong and I had already been doing this work for a long time this wasn't at the beginning of my career but it came on because I could feel the energy in the room that it wasn't resonating. When it's resonating, there's this very smooth, expansive energy. This was more of a Tinshack energy If you've ever walked into a room and you can feel a tension, an awkwardness. That's what it was. And my inner critic hooked on to that and started to say very nasty things to me.

Speaker 1: 8:29

And I had a choice in that moment Indulge in that story and allow my energy to dip, which it did for a bit, or step away and get curious and say, ooh, why is my inner critic coming on so strong? What is going on? And see it with a curious glance, as opposed to getting entangled with it and allowing it to convince you that is you? It's just a protective mechanism, it's a pattern. It's a part within us that will get triggered at certain points.

Speaker 1: 9:17

Some people's inner critic is a lot louder than others, but we always want to take a curious lens, say what's going on here, but then allowing it to float on by. And it's not the truth of who I am. We always have a choice to lean into that or our authentic power state this is what we talk about in the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator is our authentic power state. So this is when we are expansive, this is when we are leaning into our vision, trusting and having faith that what we want to create, we have the power to create. We are creators. We are not just floating around reacting to the world. Unless that's a decision or choice that you want to make, that works for you. It doesn't really work for the clients that I work with. We want to be creating, we want to be aligned to our values and creating from that place. So witness that in a critic without judgment. Release the judgment. Have a curious lens, but don't dig into it to the point where, again, we are entangled with it.

Speaker 1: 10:43

For me, it was simply some work after that talk, a little bit of journaling, a little bit of inquiring and then coming back to my authentic power state with Seth, which was he did a great job, which was, you know, the great job. Sure, it wasn't the greatest connection, but that's all it was. Wasn't a bad talk, wasn't a bad crowd. And next time we'll do our work to make sure that the connection works, that it makes sense.

Speaker 1: 11:18

We always want to bring in self-compassion. I know it can sound a little bit like, eh, lisa, self-compassion I'm going to have compassion for myself, but it is extremely important to bring in as much love as you give to other people which I know you do, because that's who I attract into my communities, into my client base, very compassionate human beings. As much compassion and love as you give other people, I need you to give it to yourself, because the more we pour that into ourself and again, I know it can sound a little corny, but the more we pour that self-love into ourselves and that self-compassion, the inner critic is going to start tuning down. At least it substantially did that for me. The more judgmental I was of myself, the more it feeds the fire and the louder it gets. So I'm going to keep this episode short. I want you to remember that In a critic, when you are about to do something, when you're about to take a step forward, when you are about to launch or when you are about to make a new decision, it's often going to get louder. This is its job. It's just doing its job. It is not the truth of the situation. So discernment is really important. So discernment is really important.

Speaker 1: 13:00

Is the fear just a fear, a worry, a doubt, or are you getting an intuitive nudge that it might not be the best decision? By the way, intuition does not come through as fear. When I was younger, I would walk in the night a lot of times and I would get an intuitive nudge don't go in, don't walk through the park. But it wasn't a fear, it was an intuitive nudge. So intuition is not going to come through as fear. I know it can be. Sometimes it is very subtle. Intuition is not fear, though. So if you're having a fear, that is not your intuition. That is simply fear. This is also why having a community, having a coach, having people around you, extremely important when you have big goals, when you are moving towards something big, to help you navigate the voice within. It's.

Speaker 1: 13:59

One of the comments from the Magnetic Leadership members is how much they appreciate our calls, because it helps them to ground and center back in, Helps to bring it all back in focus. This is critical. If you would like to apply for the Magnetic Leadership Accelerator, please head on over to the description. You can apply. We can have a conversation to see if it's the right fit. Or if you'd like to speak to me about private coaching, that is also an option. Leader, I love you, I appreciate you. Remember, the inner critic is not you. You are so much more powerful than I think you even know at this point. I love you, I appreciate you and, as always, let's stay connected.