The Magnetic Leader

How TOP Networkers Land Dream Clients EVERY TIME

• Lisa Jeffs • Season 4 • Episode 27

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We explore how leaders can build meaningful relationships in an increasingly digital world where technology often encourages lazy, transactional interactions. Technology should enhance our work rather than replace the human elements that make business relationships meaningful.

• The pandemic and rise of AI have made relationship-building even more challenging
• Many leaders take a purely transactional approach that fails to connect with people
• Mass emails, generic outreach, and AI-generated content are ineffective relationship strategies
• Effective relationship building starts with giving value before making requests
• Small gestures like sending coffee before a Zoom meeting make lasting impressions
• Thoughtful marketing (like a real estate agent delivering Halloween pumpkins) creates stronger connections than traditional advertising
• People remember how you make them feel, not what you're selling
• Building relationships is a long game that requires patience but yields greater returns
• When reaching out to someone, always consider "what's in it for them" before thinking about yourself



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Speaker 1:

Music.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to the show leaders. Today we have a new episode, a new type of episode. I'm here with Alan. He is going to be my co-host. We're testing out a new version. Is going to be my co-host. We're testing out a new version. We're going to be bringing together my coaching and Alan's HR background to assess and give our thoughts and opinions on leadership and entrepreneurship and all the good things to help you be the most successful in your work. Alan, how do you feel?

Speaker 1:

I feel great Lisa.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about these great leaders of today and tomorrow. Yes, yes, yes. So this is actually the second version of this podcast that we're doing, because the first time we did it it was so good, we had so many insights that came through. I'm like we got to share this because these are really, really powerful. So you're going to want to stick around to hear some of these insights, because this is going to help you stand out above the crowd. There's so much noise online, so do you want to introduce our topic, ellen?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely Lisa. What's our topic again? Yeah, absolutely Lisa.

Speaker 2:

What's our topic again? How to build strong relationships in a digital world where it's really easy to get lazy.

Speaker 1:

Especially today, with the days of AI just booming and developing. It's like it's just so easy to get caught up in that and become lazy.

Speaker 1:

Quite honestly and if I can be honest, I see a lot of lazy leaders out there At the end of the day, it's comfortable, and so sometimes the most growth happens when you're out of your comfort zone, and that's one of the things I realized over the last couple of years. That's where true growth happens, and so, for some of these leaders, we really want to get them out of their comfort zone, which is habits that aren't necessarily working right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so let's. Why don't we talk about some of the habits that I see are not working? They can take a lot of time and they're just not impactful. So I can start, because I was ranting about this in our last yeah.

Speaker 1:

Let's do that.

Speaker 2:

For me. I get so many emails, I get so many people reaching out and I have nothing against a person hustling and wanting to get their business out, wanting to get their workout pitching. I have nothing against that. I'm in sales, I love sales, I think sales are great, but there's a way to do it to open the door and create relationships that are going to have a positive payoff for years to come, even if there's not an immediate payoff, and there's a way to do it that feels very transactional. It feels like you're taking from a person. You just want to see what you can get, and that just doesn't feel good. And in a world where technology seems to be taking over the human-to-human relationship connection, if you can put in the effort, get out of your comfort zone and get back to basics, this is going to allow you to stand out above the noise, like so far above the noise 100%.

Speaker 1:

It's not just, it's not ignoring technology, it's how to work best with technology. And it's not just leveraging technology how do you work with the tools? And I think to your point, it's bringing in that human element coupled with the technology. That's really going to bring the return on investment more positive way. And at the end of the day, you're right. I think people have forgotten how to build those relationships, whether it's leaders, whether it's business development people, whether it's people going through Bumble or whatever and they're swiping, exactly I think people have forgotten Exactly, albeit.

Speaker 1:

In all fairness, the pandemic certainly didn't help and I think it's made everything worse. But now we're in a place of we need to leverage technology, but we need to go back to basics, like you said, and really get back to connecting with people through technology, and there's a way to do it.

Speaker 2:

Listen. The pandemic made everything worse. Ai is now making everything twice as bad. Not that I have anything wrong with AI. I love AI. I use it every day. It's very helpful. But I'm starting to get emails that are very clearly AI created, and not an email where you plug it in and you get AI to edit it, or, you know, fix the grammar, fix it up, but just AI emails. It's not connecting.

Speaker 1:

You want to talk about AI just from an HR perspective. So this is the most hilarious and scary thing at the same time. People are leveraging AI to write their resumes, and then we have companies leveraging AI to screen out the resumes. So the same resumes that AI is having create is screening out those resumes. It's insane.

Speaker 2:

It's insane.

Speaker 1:

And so where do you stand out in this age?

Speaker 2:

of.

Speaker 1:

AI and I think that there's ways to be able to stand out and make yourself do a little bit of work. Put in some work. Put in some work. I could see the draw to AI right to do the work, but AI should be enhancing your work, not doing your work. There's a difference. I think what you shared was so interesting. I think you should share. Tell everybody about the emails that you're getting, because I find this interesting.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and this has nothing to do with AI. This is actually has nothing to do with technology. This is a whole nother aspect of it, but it is. It does go into the taking mentality. Yeah, how can I take? And I am very old school when it comes to if you're going to ask for something, make sure you're giving before you ask. Also, make sure your ask is connected to how it benefits the person that you are asking. So I'll give you an example.

Speaker 2:

Every week, I get a multitude of emails. I can't even tell you how many emails I get. They're all the same. Someone is teaching this. I was telling Alan. I'm like who's teaching this? Because they need to be fired. They should not be teaching this. I know it's someone. They have a program. They're teaching it. People are investing in it. I don't even blame the people using this, because I know they're simply being taught this.

Speaker 2:

It is authors who are passionate about their book. They want to get their book out there. So they're taking a course that says this is how you get your book out there, but it's not good. So I get these emails and people want me to review their book. They then are asking if I like the book, to share it with my community, share it on my blog which again is a lot of work to make an article, to make a blog and if I'm interested, they will send me a PDF version.

Speaker 2:

You have to think why am I going to respond and say yes?

Speaker 2:

The only ones I respond and say yes are the ones who ask hey, I would love to send you a copy of my book, because then they are putting in the effort, they are putting in the work they are showing me, they are invested in this relationship and willing to send the book.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't, it was taught to me, but I love this idea of if I want someone to review my, my book or whatever I'm creating, send not only sending them a copy, but sending them a copy, and sending a copy that they can give away as a gift, and maybe even sending the third copy that they can share with their community. So I'm providing it to them, I'm also giving them another one so they look like the giver, and it's just this form of give first and then make the ass, as opposed to shooting 20, 30, 40, 50 emails a day I don't know how many emails these people are shooting out and hoping and praying. Somebody says yeah, send me the PDF. I'm going to review it on my blog, which I don't think they're getting much response at all well, it's dehumanizing, right.

Speaker 1:

It just takes the human element out of it. And, quite frankly, what's in it for you? In it for you?

Speaker 2:

there's nothing in for me. There's no incentive.

Speaker 1:

Exactly the incentive is not there and the incentive doesn't have to be huge. It could be something so small or meaningful. It doesn't have to be anything tangible like. It doesn't have to be stuff. It could be a gesture.

Speaker 1:

One of the things I mentioned to you when we were sort of talking about this. If it was me and let's just say I didn't have the funds to be able to create the book and so I just had a PDF to work with what I personally would do is If there were, say, 10 people that I wanted to pitch this to and I wanted to have them review on their blogs because I value their input I would put in the work, I would do research on them and I would try to find out when their birthday is. On their birthday I would send a quick birthday note to say, hey, note's your day. Want to say happy birthday and I've got this book. Send me a PDF. Would really love if you could share your thoughts or whatever. It just makes it a little bit more meaningful.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

I'm not spending my money. It's just a different, meaningful approach.

Speaker 2:

Shooting out 30 emails with the same email at the end of the day exactly.

Speaker 1:

If I were to receive that, I would be like, oh shit, this person took the time to really learn my when my birthday is and at the same time, I would be a little like I mean, you find out. But listen, we live in a digital age, so information is very much out there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And so that would. For me, that would be very meaningful. Yes, I'd be more apt to respond. So, again, it's just using your time wisely and bringing in that human element, humanizing the I'll call it transaction, but making it not feel like a transaction at the same time.

Speaker 2:

Yes, making it feel like a relationship, a connection. I think one of the ones that we shared last week was, before reaching out especially if this is a business owner or a creator or someone in the field where they are putting out their own work First review, review their business. Leave them a Google review. Leave them a podcast review if they have a podcast, send them, take a video testimonial sharing that you've gone through their blog, how much you appreciate their work. Send them the video testimonial and say, hey, I don't know if you can use this, but I wanted to create it because I was impacted so much by your blog. Thank you for sharing what you do.

Speaker 2:

I also have a book that I've just created. And then, continuing the conversation, I would love if someone did that to me. Of course, I would take a look at their book and especially if what they shared was they really truly went through my book, they really read and left me a meaningful testimonial, because one of the things that I can see people do all the time is they'll go through a couple of lines and they'll say they'll read a couple of lines and share how meaningful it was, but they haven't actually read the whole book. Someone else is teaching that strategy as well. I'm just like we gotta do. There are some people teaching some not so great strategies. Clearly these are not the right. I don't blame the people doing it.

Speaker 2:

I blame the people teaching it yeah because it's very transactional and we gotta go back to the basics. When my dad had his commercial construction company, there was no internet. He did very well by building relationships with people handwritten cards, handwritten gifts, paying attention to someone's birthday, paying attention to someone's wife. What's her birthday? Right?

Speaker 1:

learning the names of kids that's really back to basics, that's deep, that's actually deep relationship building, quite frankly that is me today that's what I'm talking about, president Clinton.

Speaker 2:

Bill Clinton, he apparently had the most insane memory to where he would meet someone, learn the names of the kids, learn the names of their wife, and then years later would meet that same person again and say, oh, how's Jonathan? He must be seven right now. Jonathan, he must be seven right now. Could you imagine if someone came to you had that memory and hi, instant hook.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, oh, we're friends now even if Bill Clinton came up to me and didn't know shit about me, I'd be like we are friends regardless, but, yeah, absolutely, someone comes to you 100, that's true deep relationship building and we just don't see much of that. We've lost the art of it. But again, there's a way of weaving that into technology and one of the things that I have done in the past in my business development years. I get we live in a digital age. I understand that years ago it used to be about coffee dates. Right, hey, meet me for coffee. Let's talk about whatever. If you're looking to build whatever pipeline, people aren't necessarily doing that these days. They want a Zoom call, they want a Teams call or they want some sort of digital call, which is fine and so. But why not bring in the human element in the sense that send them a gift card or coffee, or actually you know the coffee itself.

Speaker 1:

Yes, what do you want? Love to have a coffee, or tea. Whatever your beverage of choice is not an alcoholic, of course.

Speaker 2:

I don't know.

Speaker 1:

It depends on the kind of meeting you're after either way and actually just send them a drink and then have the call while you're having that drink. I just feel like that would land so well today and it's landed well for me in the past. Quite honestly, someone did that to me once and I gotta say, being on the receiving end, that landed really well yeah, really well put in the extra that's how you stand out, right, if you want to stand out.

Speaker 2:

Get creative, think out of the box. Do not do what everyone else is doing Sending mass emails, sending mass pictures on LinkedIn. I get these messages all the time on LinkedIn and there is nothing that makes me want to reply, less than accepting a connection and someone immediately going into pitch mode.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that happens all the time.

Speaker 2:

Would you do that in public with someone that you just met, not say hi, how are you? Hey, you want this, you want this thing. It's not Vegas, where you walk down the street and they're handing out cards left, right and center. This is about putting yourself out as a leader, as someone who wants to do business. You have to do better. You can't see people as just dollar signs.

Speaker 1:

You need to be relationship focused. You need to build relationships because it will, your return on investment will be much higher. A CEO books five let's just say, a CEO books five Zoom calls in a day, let's just say. And they're all digital. However, one of those individuals sends the CEO a coffee for their Zoom call. You don't think, when it comes time to pull whatever trigger or sign whatever contract, that that CEO is going to not remember that one person who actually sent them a coffee. Again, it's not the coffee, it's the gesture. It's a gesture. Yeah, the effort is gesture. Yeah, that makes me stand out. I think that's the point, ultimately, that we're trying to make Stand out.

Speaker 2:

Don't blend in. Don't blend in. I'll share the one with the real estate agent because that one is a really it's good. This is a perfect example of thinking outside the box. So what do real estate agents often do? You often see their posters and they put up different billboards and wallies in the area that I am, which is great. I mean, it is good. When we see something over and over right, we learn to trust that, which is good. But this real estate agent went above and beyond and, to be honest, when you look at how much people spend on advertising, it was money well spent. Every Halloween, we would get a pumpkin. This real estate agent would rent a van, which was what did we come up with? A couple hundred dollars probably he spent on that.

Speaker 1:

Per day.

Speaker 2:

He would get, maybe, I don't know, 300 pumpkins. Let's say, if it's right, a dollar a pumpkin, three hundred dollars, the notice that he put on the pumpkin, so his own card, his own flyer, which might have been a hundred if that because you got those in bulk right. So let's say he spent eight hundred dollars on this. Every halloween he would deliver a pumpkin to a house every halloween. I associated him, his work, his face, with generosity, because now I don't have to go out and buy a pumpkin. Right thoughtfulness yeah also.

Speaker 2:

Those things were magnetic. We stick it on our fridge, so we're seeing him. This is next level advertising cost psychological sales. Psychological yeah psychological eight hundred dollars. If you spend eight hundred dollars on meta ads, you can easily it can go up in the air and you get nothing from it. It's just thinking outside of the box thinking about people, right. What can people use? What can they need? How can I get my name out there in a unique way to stand above the crowd, to make myself known and to give back.

Speaker 1:

When you give like that, the natural universal law is you're gonna get yeah you're gonna get back yeah, even if he got one listing out of that one listing exactly one listing he gets back his 800 bucks, and then some, and then some. But it's psychological at the end of the day that sticks out. That sticks out in your mind, not today or tomorrow, but over time.

Speaker 2:

Because that is a long game where you can make a very substantial gain. The problem is a lot of people want payback.

Speaker 1:

Well, that's the age we live in, right? We live in this day and age of fast ATMs. We want our money fast Drive-thru. We want our coffee fast. We want our Big Macs fast we drive through. We're so used to that instant gratification and sometimes, when it comes to these relationships, it is thinking outside the box and it's time and it's consistency and doing something repeatedly, because that is what people remember at the end of the day that is what people remember.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's really one-off.

Speaker 1:

Well, sometimes a one-off depend depending on well doing it consistently will stick in people's mind and they will associate that with you much, like you do so, yes, people remember how you make them feel, not how much you love your stuff, and you think everyone else should love it too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's the wrong way of looking at it. You got to think about the other person on the end first, as opposed to how much can I get my stuff out here?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what's in it for that?

Speaker 2:

With them what's?

Speaker 1:

in it for me, but first what's in it for them. You have to think what's in it for them, what's in it for me? But reversed.

Speaker 2:

What's in it for them? You have to think what's in it for them. What's in it for them If you're making an ask of something? What's in it for them? So I hope everybody you found this helpful, make your relationship back to basics.

Speaker 1:

Work with technology. Don't have technology. Work you.

Speaker 2:

Exactly Send those copies. I've sent Uber when someone has posted a celebration, let's say on LinkedIn. I've just done this. I've just done this. I've sent people Uber like just a gift card, and said hey, you're not in the same neighborhood, I want to take you out for dinner, but have dinner on me.

Speaker 1:

That is terrific.

Speaker 2:

You care about the person enough to go in there, set that up, send them the Uber that makes such an impact. Yeah, if you're going to put money towards not that you have to put money towards you don't have to do anything that costs money. It's the time and the effort. But if you're going to put money towards advertising, instead of putting all your money into ads, ads, ads, ads think outside of the box. How can you have a certain amount of your marketing fund per month and do things like this?

Speaker 1:

Because it's these things that people remember, it's these standards.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, exactly, all right. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. This is a new format.

Speaker 1:

Thank you everyone, Stay tuned.

Speaker 2:

Stay tuned for more. Al's birthday is in a couple of days, for anyone that's wondering, and, as always, let's stay connected.

Speaker 1:

Tap into your pen of power. You got this. Now go get it, living up to your full potential. Your energy is magnetic. Big dreams Believe in it. Wisdom we seeking it, everything that you're looking for, brought to you by Lisa Jeffs, the magnetic leader.